Open Door Policy
by teacupsNmints
Summary: High School sweethearts Bella and Emmett are married and content. Emmett's brother Edward comes to visit. He's not the misfit Bella remembers from High School. Entry written for "Forbidden Love Affair" A Contest of Hidden Desires AH / BxE Mature Complete
1. Chapter 1

"**Forbidden Love Affair"**

**A Contest of Hidden Desires**

**Penname: **teacupsNmints

**One Shot Title: **Open-Door Policy

**Pairing:** Bella & Edward

**POV:** Bella

**Rating:** M

**Theme: **Adultery

**Word Count:** 7156

**Summary or Description**: Bella and Emmett were high school sweethearts. Five years later they are married and Bella considers herself content. When Emmett's brother Edward comes to stay with them, he's not the same misfit Bella remembers from high school.

**This one-shot is being posted in participation with the above mentioned contest hosted by bemylullaby, goldentemptress, kyla713, miztrezboo, and Nostalgicmiss. **

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**Disclaimer: Twilight and all Twilight characters belong to Stephenie Meyer. I just like to bring them out to play occasionally!**

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" _I have a kind and beautiful heart therefore I deserve a happy life_."

I repeated that mantra daily. If only I could believe it. Don't get me wrong. I've never purposely allowed myself to make a poor choice ever---not once. I was a good girl for my parents. I studied and made above average grades in high school. I got a scholarship to a state college and became a teacher. I even recently married my high school sweetheart. All just like my parents always wanted. Yep, I always made the good choices. Unfortunately none of them were ever my choices. I had lived my entire life, free of risks and satisfying everybody else. Just once I'd like to do something random---something irrational---something totally unplanned.

But here I sit every morning and every night, looking at my own face in the mirror, repeating a positive growth statement that I could never even believe.

Emmett and I had been together since my junior year at Forks High. He was a year ahead of me. My mom's best friend introduced us. I remember her exact words--- "Bella, I have picked out the perfect boy for you." And that she did. Or at least that's what I convinced myself. The truth was, how could I deserve a happy life if I am a coward without even the balls to choose my own husband.

Don't get me wrong. Emmett is a great guy and I was crazy for him when we met. Who wouldn't be---he was quarterback of our football team and Washington's High School State Champ in wrestling. He was every girl's dream and I was every girl's envy. It didn't exactly help me to become well-liked. I had few girl friends in high school. They usually only came around if they thought I could get their foot in the door with some other jock from the team.

I'm just lucky to have my cousin, Alice. She's always been quirky, but she's honest, loyal, and she's like an old soul---with uncanny insight into pretty much everything. She and I are still really close. We get together at least once a week for girl talk. I may need to increase it to 2 or 3 times a week.

Tonight, Emmett and I are getting a house guest. Or rather, we're getting a freeloader since I don't exactly know how long he's staying and he will be living with us rent free. Emmett's younger brother Edward needs a place to stay. I am not exactly looking forward to it.

Emmett and I have been together for 5 years, and I've never actually had a conversation with Edward. And he and I were in the same graduating class. In fact, I don't recall ever hearing the guy say more than maybe a one or two word response---and that is only if a question was directed to him specifically. I haven't even seem him since graduation which was right before he left to attend college in London.

And this is another one of those times that I allowed a decision to be made for me, regardless of what I really want. I am such a coward.

The conversation went something like this.

**Emmett- **_Bella, is it okay with you if Edward stays with us a while when he returns to the states after graduation?_

**Me - **_Can't he stay with your folks?_

**Emmett - **_He could have, but I already told him he could stay here._

**Me - **_Okay. _

Pathetic, I know. It wouldn't be so bad if Edward were personable. But, he's actually kind of creepy. In high school he was very tall and thin and pale. He never, ever smiled. And he always looked like he'd just eaten a meal of bad fish or something. He wore this black Salvation Army trench coat with the collar up every single day, regardless of the weather. Granted it's usually raining, and never exactly hot in Forks, but this guy would wear his trench coat to the beach in July---if he were the type of guy to actually go out---in public---in the daylight---with real people around. He was definitely a loner. I'd see him sitting at an empty table during lunch, watching the goings on of every other student in the school with dark, haunted eyes. And in the mornings before school , everyday he'd stand alone under the stairs , ear buds in, fingering the strings of an invisible guitar. Ed_weird_---that's what the kids all called him. And honestly, I'm a little freaked out about him staying here, in my home.

I looked at the clock as I heard Emmett's car pull into the drive. Perfect timing, of course. Emmett's mom had emailed me the recipe for Edward's favorite casserole earlier that day. She even told me which casserole dish from the set she bought us for a wedding gift would be perfect to cook it in. And the buzzer dinged as I heard the car doors shut. Perfect.

"Hey Babe! Come say hi. You've got to hear the accent on this guy now."

I headed into the foyer anxious to hear Edward's new accent, even though I had absolutely no recollection of what his voice had sounded like in the first place. I extended my hand.

"Hello Edward. It's so nice to…" Holy crap! He hugged me.

Not a huge bear hug like Emmett was known for, but his hands did touch my shoulders and he did lean in a little. Wow! Maybe London was good for him. "It's so nice to have you here."

"Thank you, Bella. I appreciate your hospitality and that you are willing to share your home for a bit." Wow. My heartbeat sped up just for a second. And I thought I might have to manually close my mouth. Emmett was right. Edward's new accent was something alright. Definitely an improvement over the old one---whatever it was.

I smiled at my brother in law and suggested he drop his bags in the guest room and then join us in the dining room for dinner.

Emmett was so excited to have his little brother home. He was like an over grown child, doting and carrying on. He was so proud. I liked seeing that excitement in Emmett. Things had been getting pretty bland around our house and I welcomed the change.

As Edward entered the dining room, his eyes became wide and he noticed immediately that I'd made his favorite casserole, for which he thanked me repeatedly. He even said that mine tasted better than his mom's. Edward spoke quite a bit during dinner. He filled us in on all the sites he'd taken in while abroad. He shared stories about how kind the people were to him there. As I watched him speak, my eyes kept moving to the area around his jaw,. I'd never noticed what a strong jaw Edward had before. Probably because it had always been covered by the collar of that stupid trench coat. He had a beautiful jaw that definitely warranted displaying.

One thing however, had not changed that I'd noticed. Edward had still not smiled. He spoke with happiness in his voice, but I'd yet to see real happiness or excitement on his face.

I headed up to bed early, after cleaning up the kitchen. I figured I'd allow the boys some time alone to just be themselves without having to worry about including or respecting me.

As I watched 20/20 upstairs in bed, I could hear Emmett's voice becoming louder and louder. That meant one thing. They were drinking beer. And that meant one thing. Emmett would be up here later and he'd be horny.

I sighed a long sigh. Lately, sex had been the furthest thing from my mind. Now Emmett was a considerate lover. He wanted very much to please me. Actually, he wanted too much to please me. It was as if the entire object of the activity was to see how well or with what intensity he could get me off. Not that that is such a terrible thing. But it was the jock in him---his competitive nature---it was like he was always trying to beat his old score or something. I'm sure he thought he was being caring and considerate. But it put tremendous pressure on me---and it hindered the process---if you know what I mean. If I didn't have what at least appeared to be an orgasm every time---he'd insist on going the distance until he thought I did. It seemed to have become more about him and his success than it was about me.

I must have dosed off because I didn't realize Emmett had come in until I felt his hand rubbing circles on the inside of my thigh. _Oh boy, here we go. _

"Hey babe, are you asleep?"

What the hell does he think I'm doing here with my eyes closed?

"Mmm. Well, that's good, because I plan to make you very happy."

I could hear the honest sincerity in his voice, even if it was a little slurred.

I laid there as my husband's hands moved straight up into my middle. No point in wasting time with all my other body parts. I felt his thumb move in slow circles around my clit. I liked this part. If only he'd stay there longer. He placed gentle kisses on my shoulder and I did like the way his warm breath felt as it made the fine baby hairs at the base of my head tickle my neck. I was actually feeling kind of turned on--- something I'd not felt in a quite a while. Emmett's other hand cupped my breast and I gasped just a little as he squeezed my nipple between his fingers. His fingers, moving softly and steadily around my source of all arousal, was causing my hips to stir some. This provoked my husband to speed up his pace just a little, still breathing hard on my neck. I wrapped my arms around his shoulders and let out a quiet little moan.

The next thing I knew his thumb is suddenly deep inside of me going the distance, or trying to. I wanted to shout "Too fast, slow back down"---but I wouldn't ever want to hurt his feelings---so I just went with it. I continued moaning, apparently rather convincingly. That was all Emmett needed. I could already feel his rock hard erection thumping into my belly. He tore off his pants, positioned his body on top of mine, and slipped himself into me.

"Come on baby" he said "I want to feel you tighten around me cuz it feels so good."

I was in trouble. I could fake the noise, but I couldn't fake that.

All of a sudden, I noticed from over Emmett's shoulder that he'd left the bedroom door open and standing right in the doorway, leaning against the frame was Edward Cullen.

I gasped and Emmett must have taken that as encouragement.

"That's right baby, just keep going--we're almost there---we can do this."

I can't imagine the horror Edward must have seen on my face. But nonetheless, he wasn't bothered by it, nor did he move. In effect, he looked straight into my eyes with the most soothing expression. He just stood there and continued watching us. At first I was horrified, appalled. But once he had captured me within his gaze, I was actually---aroused. My heart was racing. The pace of my breathing increased.

Emmett panted "Did I find a good spot?"

Just then, Edward Cullen still glued to my eyes, stretched his arms high grasping each side of the door frame and leaned his head so that it rested on his arm. His nonchalance seemed to excited me even more and I heard a loud gasp escape my lips.

Emmett moaned "Bella, I've never heard you so excited!"

That did it. Upon hearing those words, the corners of Edward Cullen's mouth traveled north and he smiled the cockiest little crooked smile. Something inside me exploded. It was like nothing I'd ever felt. It was so hot I shivered. I was no longer in control of anything. My hips were bucking, my legs were trembling. My fists were balled into the sheets. Gasps and moans and "Oh God!" coming from my lips. All the while, my eyes locked in the sparkling green of Edward Cullen's, as he stood there smiling from the doorway. And I stared into his eyes over my husband's shoulder as I had the first real orgasm of my life.

The sun streaking through the sheer drapes forced me from my peaceful unconscious. It was morning---and eventually I would have to get out of bed. I looked at the clock. 7:45. Emmett would be leaving for work in about half an hour. I removed my blanket and cool air reminded me that I hadn't bothered to redress last night. Last night. I got a queasy feeling in the pit of my stomach. I couldn't even look at Emmett. I'd completely betrayed him and it made me sick. Why hadn't I just spoken up last night? Why didn't I let Emmett know? Instead, I just allowed it. I allowed his eyes to envelope me. I allowed his mind to enjoy our intimacy, mine and Emmett's. I allowed myself to want him there.

I had to tell Emmett. He had to know. Edward could not stay here. And Emmett needed to be the one to throw him out.

I put on my robe, pulled my hair into a knot on top of my head and headed downstairs to the kitchen. I could smell the coffee brewing, and a cupful would help me to organize the thoughts I'd need to handle the task at hand.

As I walked into the kitchen, Emmett was bustling about the kitchen with added enthusiasm. I moved to the coffee pot with my eyes fixed on the floor. Suddenly I was met with a firm slap on my backside. "Mornin' sweet thang" Emmett greeted me as he raised his eyebrows a few times, making a less than subtle reference to our activities the night before.

I glanced to Edward , sitting at the table in sweatpants and a plaid flannel shirt, his eyes in the newspaper, eating a bowl of Rice Krispies. I felt a strange coldness in my chest and it felt that my heart might completely stop altogether. My face felt hot and my ears felt cold. My throat became incredibly dry.

I wasn't expecting it when Edward said "Morning Bella" and glanced up to meet my eyes.

I quickly darted them away. "Good morning."

_Who the hell did he think he was sitting at my kitchen table, eating my cereal and speaking to me with my husband right in the damn room ---after he spent the entire night ------eye fucking me!_

Emmett sat in the chair across from Edward while I was pouring my coffee. He made an exaggerated performance of pulling the chair between them out and gestured that I sit there. Not sure what else to do, I sat down. Emmett was busily scouring the sports page. Edward was closing up the business section. Just as I reached for the front page, Edward did too, brushing my hand with his fingers. The most gentle shiver trailed up my arm.

"Oh---I'm sorry." he said to me in a very soft voice---one corner of his mouth curving into a crooked smile.

I didn't say anything I just looked down into my cup of coffee. How was I supposed to live like this---uncomfortable in my own home.

Emmett grabbed his briefcase and kissed me on the cheek as his free hand slid down my side and grabbed at my backside. "I'll see you tonight" he said and winked. Then he waved at his brother.

"Edward---Bro---I am so glad you're here." Emmett walked out the door and closed it behind him.

Edward and I both sat there at the tiny table in my small kitchen, our bodies just inches apart. I could feel heat radiating from him. I couldn't tell if it was drawing me near or scaring the hell out of me. Probably a little of both.. I knew I had to get up from that table. I stood at the counter, refilling my coffee cup when I heard the chair legs drag across the tile. _Please let him leave---I need him to just go somewhere---anywhere._

Immediately Edward's body, towering over mine, was standing directly behind me.

He leaned over my shoulder so closely that I could feel his breath on my neck as he whispered "Excuse me Bella. I need some sugar."

I stood frozen. My knees trembled and my heart raced. Then Edward's well-defined arms reached past me and I watched his hand grab several sugar packets from the bowl on the counter.

But Edward did not move away. He just stayed there---so close I could feel his heat. I turned to try and get away, but Edward's body was right there blocking me. I waited as patiently as I could, my heart trying to beat its way right from my chest. I made the mistake of looking up toward his dazzling green eyes where his gaze was waiting for me.

"So, Bella, how long have you been faking orgasms with my brother?"

I felt every ounce of blood drain from my face. Then it was replaced with rage.

"That's none of your business--- and I'm doing no such thing!"

One side of his mouth turned up into a slight half smile and he let out a breathy chuckle.

I became even more angry.

"Exactly how long were you standing in your brother's doorway before you started ----eye fucking his wife?"

My attempt to disarm him only fueled the intensity of his stare and his smile stretched a little wider.

"About as long as it took her to enjoy _being_ eye fucked."

Oh my god. As furious as I was, just hearing him say "eye fucked" made my clit twitch.

"I'm not discussing this with you any further." I said.

I had to get out of that tiny immensely hot, suffocating room.

"Admit it--- you liked it." he taunted.

I turned to leave.

"I noticed you haven't said that you **didn't** like it."

Without looking, I could hear the smirk in his voice. Unfortunately, I also heard the truth.

I stopped. I turned. I looked back at him ---defeated. He was right---I couldn't say I didn't like it. The truth was I loved it. I fucking reveled in the incredible awe-inspiring beauty of it. I couldn't stop thinking about it---his haunting eyes etched eternally in my soul. But one thing was for certain. It could never ever happen again.

My eyes dropped to the floor as I shook my head. Edward mumbled something as I began ascending the stairs. I didn't dare look back. Taking the stairs two at a time, I headed for the solitude of my bedroom, anxious to get dressed and out of that house.

I spent the day at the mall---anywhere but home. Alice agreed to meet me for lunch. I waited at the table 20 minutes for her to arrive. It was comforting to know I could finally share what had happened with someone.

"Hey Bella. You sounded like a wreck when you called. What's going on?"

"Edward got here yesterday." I said.

"That's right, ol' Edweird is back in town. Is he still the wearing that stupid coat? Looked like he stole that thing from Jack the Ripper."

"No. No coat. Umm. He's not very much the same at all."

"Really. What, is he like totally hot now? I always thought he had the potential to be a Goth God. Just gain control of the acne---include a workout routine and some tanning sessions…"

"No. I mean---I don't know. I didn't notice. But he's not the least bit shy anymore ---and he has an accent." I felt a warm blush paint its way throughout my face.

"Oooh---well, feel free if you want to set me up..."

"No!" I said on impulse and quickly raised my hand to my lips, s to contian anything else that might slip out. Alice looked at me with wide eyes as I tried to smooth the line I knew to be furrowed between brows.

Softly I said "That's not why I asked you here."

"O-kay. Then why don't you just tell me."

I breathed in a deep breath and tried hard to expel every dirty word in that one breath. "Last night, Emmett and I were--well, you know. And I was trying really hard to get into it---and I finally was---and then.."

Alice interrupted. "Ya know I'd have thought Emmett to be awesome in bed. Hmmm---disappointing."

"Alice, please---just let me say it."

"Oh---sorry---shoot."

"Well, I was finally getting kinda into it and I look up over Emmett's shoulder and he'd left the bedroom door open and…"

"Bella--Edward's a big boy. I'm sure he can handle hearing you guys doing the deed."

"Alice. Please. He was standing in the doorway---watching us doing the deed."

I saw my cousins eyes roll. "Holy shit! What did Emmett do---kill him?"

"Ummm. No. --- He doesn't know."

"How could he not know…? Unless---unless ---you didn't say anything!"

I was staring at my menu---although I couldn't even think of food. I simply shook my head in shame.

"Did Edward freak when you caught him looking?"

"No. He just kept looking---right into my eyes."

"Shit"

"Then he leaned against the doorframe and rested his head on his arm."

"Shit"

"Then he smiled."

"Holy shit. What did you do?"

I fought a smile trying desperately to sneak its way onto my face, stared down at the table and said "I had the most incredible orgasm."

"Oh honey, you had an orgasm! ----Shit, you had an orgasm?"

Then all Alice could say for several minutes was "Holy shit", although each time she said it, it meant something totally different.

Finally, she pulled herself together.

"Damn Bella. I always knew he was hot for you in high school, but I didn't think he'd try to dupe his own brother for you five years later."

"What are you talking about? Edward Cullen was never hot for me. He never liked anybody or anything. He just sulked around and stared at everyone with brooding eyes."

"No Bella. Edward stared at you with brooding eyes. Nobody else. And now we know exactly what he was brooding about."

Later, I called Emmett and arranged for us to meet for dinner at our favorite bar and grill. I couldn't handle another family meal at home. I sat at a table in the corner reading and rereading the menu, trying to decide how I would tell my husband about what had happened. I heard Emmett's boisterous laugh before I saw him. I watched as Emmett came toward our table---followed by Edward.

"Hey Babe. I've got bad news. The boss needs me to work late on some reports, so I'll have to grab something to go and head back to the office. But, lucky for you Edward happened by and agreed to keep you company and be your dinner date."

Then my husband kissed me, playfully punched his brother's shoulder, grabbed a brown bag from the bar and left.

Edward sat in the seat across from me. His eyes focused on the table. We sat in silence until the waiter came to take our orders.

Once the waiter walked away, I heard Edward's soft voice. "I didn't plan it."

"What?" I heard what he said, but answered out of reflex.

"I was heading to the bathroom. I'd had a few beers---and needed to take a leak. I passed your door. I heard the sounds. I shouldn't have looked in---I knew that. But I couldn't help it. And I saw you---and I couldn't stop looking. I know I should have moved on---or closed the door. But I couldn't. I didn't want to. Then I saw--- your face. Bella, you looked so sad.

"You shouldn't have been there. He's your brother for Christ's sake!"

"I know. My behavior was deplorable. The problem is---I'm not sorry---and I can't guarantee I wouldn't do it again."

An unfamiliar impulse took over and my arm took a swing for his cheek. It was intercepted as Edwards hand caught my wrist. His thumb slid down my palm, and clasped my hand into his.

"Bella, you deserve pleasure."

Heat rose from my toes all the way up into my cheeks, pausing momentarily at every erotic zone. My breathing was almost as rapid as my heartbeat--- and I had to struggle to stifle a moan. I was held captive by Edward's sensual eyes until he finally blinked. Quickly, I pulled my hand from his and grabbed my purse.

As I jumped from the table to make my escape, I heard my brother-in-law say, more to himself than to me, "I should've just let you hit me."

I got home, quickly made myself a sandwich, and carried it along with a large cup of ice and a 2 liter of diet soda up to my room. I had no intentions of coming out for any reason until Emmett got home.

I got undressed, slipped into a nightgown, and grabbed a book. I propped up my pillows and settled down on my bed to read. My eyes wandered over to the closed door. Why should I have to close myself in my room, like a trapped animal, in my own house? I dropped the book on the bed, marched across the floor and opened the door forcefully, causing it to bang loudly into the wall behind it. I got back in bed, readjusted my pillows and picked up my book. My eyes moved into the hallway. I wondered when Edward would get back. Would he actually eat dinner, or just pay the check and head here. The thought of him walking in any moment prompted me to get up and close the door.

My mind moved to last night and how incredible it felt to be ravished by his gaze. It's not like he even touched me. Perhaps I was making more of it than it was. I always could be a bit old fashioned about some things. I decided I absolutely had nothing to be ashamed of and I got up and opened the bedroom door. Just as it opened, there he stood. Edward Cullen. He handed me a to go box from the restaurant. He was looking all brooding and needy--------and he was walking into my room!

"Uh--Edward. I --I --don't think this is a good idea."

"Bella, I was wrong. I was wrong to put you in an awkward position."

He sat down next to me on the bed. I could smell wine on his breath. I was afraid my heart would thump right out of my chest.

"I have a confession to make. I've been furious with Emmett for years. Everything that was difficult for me came easily to my big brother. I walked in his shadow and I was okay with that ---until winter break ---junior year. It was a rare occasion. He and I were bonding over a Grand Theft Auto video game we'd gotten for Christmas when he asked me why I never dated. Actually he said "You don't date. Don't you like pussy?" I confided in him that there was only one girl and that she didn't even know I existed. I told him it was you. I'd never told anybody else. He gave me a bunch of bullshit advice about being patient and waiting for you to come to me. Then---I start notice he's talking to you at school. At first I thought he was trying to help me out. Then he brought you home to meet the family in February. I was really pissed for a long time and I guess never forgave him for betraying me."

He stared at the blue bedspread as he rubbed a length of it nervously between his fingers. He almost looked like he wanted to cry.

"Edward, I had no idea." I reached over and laid my hand atop of his to try to comfort him.

"But what I experienced with you last night, had nothing to do with my brother---or revenge---or anything. I'd love nothing more than make you feel like that every single night. Bella, you deserve so much more than what you have."

I felt the need to defend my situation. I didn't want anyone feeling sorry for me.

"Emmett is a good man and a wonderful husband. And he is very considerate of my needs."

"Bella, I heard him ask you three different times how HE was doing---not how you were doing."

His words hit me hard. My defunct sex life was no longer a figment of my imagination or a product of my being selfish. It had been acknowledged by someone else and officially said out loud, therefore it was real. My chin started to shake and my eyes filled with tears.

Without saying a word, Edward gently pulled me to his shoulder, rubbed his fingers in my hair and made quiet shushing noises, encouraging me not to cry. His cheek rested warmly against mine and he smelled so---so nice---like soap---and wine. I was surprised how my body molded so naturally into his arms and I could hear the soothing beat of his heart. I turned my head towards him to find that he was looking at me. I felt the space warm as he tilted his head toward mine.

Without any other thought crossing my mind, I leaned in and met his lips. They were soft and warm and oh-so-inviting. I accepted his invitation as his tongue tapped my lips, opening them up and allowing him in. It felt right. It felt more right than anything else I'd ever done.

What happened next was a frenzy of want and need and pent up emotion. Fingers gripping hair. Hearts beating fast. Teeth nibbling . Tongues flicking. Hands wandering. Pulses racing. I felt so alive---and wonderful---and God I didn't want to stop. His breath was warm tickling at my skin, causing me to shiver. The occasional moan escaping from his lips. All the while his eyes fixed on mine. It was intense and God I wanted this man. I wanted him more than anything I'd ever felt before.

My fingers found there way to the hem of his shirt and he helped me as I lifted it over his strong shoulders. He leaned his chest into mine and I could feel the heat of his skin through my thin nightie causing my nipples to harden. Edward's hand slowly drifted down until he held my breast cupped carefully in his hand. He lowered his head and just ---admired it. He watched as his finger rubbed lightly over the hardened point through the thin fabric. His eyes were fixed as he caressed my covered flesh in his hand. Then he looked into my eyes again, groaned quietly and once again began ravaging my mouth.

Suddenly I heard the front door shut. We both froze there on the bed, breathing hard, eyes glazed. Finally, I pushed Edward from the bed and mouthed "Go!"

He stood, grabbed his shirt and left the room. I quietly closed the bedroom door, propped myself against the pillows and picked up my book.

It was official.

I had now officially done something to be ashamed of.

I could hear Em and Edward talking downstairs. I was terrified. Edward had proven to be completely unpredictable so far. Of course, it was more likely just my own paranoia---since Emmett was twice Edward's size it was unlikely he'd say anything---unless he was a masochist.

I heard heavy feet climbing the stairs and mentally prepared myself. I stared into my book. When my husband threw open the bedroom door, I simply looked up and smiled. He grabbed some sweats and an old jersey.

"Hey Babe. Hitting the sack early?"

"No, just reading."

"Edward and I are going to play cards. You want join us?"

"No, thanks. I think I'll just stay up here. I'm enjoying the quiet."

When he finished changing clothes, Emmett kissed me on the cheek and headed downstairs.

As I lay there I could hear the low rumble of the brothers' voices coming from the kitchen. They were talking almost nonstop. It made me wonder what they were talking about. I tried really hard to hear them. I could make out only voices---no words. Every now and then I'd hear something a little louder and then laughter or shouts. I couldn't stand it. I pulled on my robe and headed downstairs. I'd just go down to the kitchen to get ----something.

Emmett was sitting in his normal seat at the end of the table with Edward across from him. Emmett was busy studying his cards, it must have been his turn. So, it was Edward's eyes I met first. His eyes stared into my soul, without faltering---then the intensity lightened just a little and his lips hinted slightly of a smile making my stomach flip and my face blush. Needing to busy myself with something, I grabbed a box of crackers from the pantry and set it on the counter. I opened the fridge and pulled out a block cheese. I cut it slices as I listened to the conversation behind me.

"C'mon Edward. There had to be some European women.

"No, nothing worthy of sharing."

Aw---give an old married guy something to envy."

"I assure you, there was nobody better than what you have, Bro"

I felt my face blush again and a smile crept across my face although I was trying to fight it.

"Ahh--smooth answer! Smart man---Bella must have something you want."

Edward just laughed a deep throaty chuckle.

I didn't dare turn around.

"C'mon Bella I know you're not going to eat all that."

I looked down and saw that I'd sliced the entire block without realizing.

I took a deep breath and set the plate of cheese along with the crackers on the table.

Emmett patted the chair next to him as he raised a bottle of beer to his lips. More beer---I knew all too well what that meant was coming later. I attempted to excuse myself and leave, but Emmett wouldn't have it.

"Come on Babe. You didn't come down here just to fix us a snack. Eat. Play. And just maybe you'll get lucky." His tone was playful, but his words were meaningful beyond his understanding.

I sat. I don't know why I sat, but I did. Emmett dealt me in.

We were playing poker---9's were wild. Emmett must have called it, because his old baseball number was 9.

Edward got a beer from the fridge and asked if I'd like one.

"No, Bro---Bella doesn't drink beer." Emmett interjected.

I spoke up. "Actually I could really use a drink and we're out of wine. So, yes, Edward I'd love one." I needed _something_ to calm my nerves.

I knew I should leave. I should grab my beer and go upstairs. But, honestly, I didn't want to…so… I stayed. What could it hurt to play a hand or two before I went upstairs?

Several hands and several beers later, I was winning. Too bad we weren't playing strip poker. I'd have truly been in a position to enjoy the show.

Emmett and Edward had both put away quite a few bottles of beer as well. The more Emmett drank, the more his hands were on me. The more Edward drank, the quieter he was---but his eyes became liquid sex. The more I drank, the more I wanted to venture upstairs with my husband's brother. Oh Emmett could come, too---its only fair---maybe he could learn a thing or two. I smiled at that thought.

"Ahh---she must have another good hand." Emmett said as his thumb awkwardly rubbed my cheek. "She's smiling."

"I don't know." Edward interjected. "That looks like a frisky little smile. Perhaps you ought to take your wife upstairs."

I couldn't breathe. What was he doing?

"Bro---how hospitable would that be? The game isn't even over." Emmett said.

"Don't worry about me." Edward chuckled. " Just consider me a good EFing brother-in -law."

Emmett let out a boisterous laugh.

Edward looked directly at me and raised one eyebrow. "Bella is the big winner tonight. Perhaps she should decide."

I was confused and a little hurt that Edward would willfully suggest that Emmett and I go upstairs for sex after what had happened earlier….but when he peered at me through lustful lids and his lips curved up into that sexy smile, I would have agreed to anything.

"Okay. If you're sure you don't mind, Edward."

"Like I said---Don't worry about me---just thank me---I'm a good EFing brother-in-law."

As I climbed the stairs with Emmett, I replayed Edward's words in my head trying to make sense of them. Then I realized exactly what he was saying. He was the EFing brother-in-law---the _Eye Fucking _brother-in-law. He wanted me to leave the door open---again! Just thinking about it sent a wave of excitement completely through me.

My hands began to quiver and my knees became Jell-O. I sucked on my lip as I tried to keep my composure, hoping Emmett would not become suspicious.

Half way up, Emmett grabbed me and threw me over his shoulder like some sort of primate. He had himself so worked up by the time we reached our room, that he didn't even notice that I had bounced the door off my foot on the way in---making certain it remained open.

Once he threw me down on the bed, he did not look back. Emmett immediately untied my robe and I quickly removed it and discarded it next to the bed. Then, my husband , straddling my body worked his way down toward my feet. He grabbed the hem of my nightie between his teeth and worked his way back up until, other than my lace panties, my body was completely exposed. He was giggling and I was, too. He was being so playful that it was rather exciting. I quickly pulled my arms out of the nightie and laid it with the robe on the floor.

Emmett placed gentle kisses from my forehead, down my nose, onto my mouth, to my chin, down my neck---in a line between my breasts---to my navel and down to the waistband of my panties. He took them in his teeth and carried them down to my toes where I helped them to be removed. With both hands he made his way back up my body and took one of my breasts into his mouth. He toyed with my nipple until it hardened. Then his other hand worked its way down to my most erotic little spot---which he proceeded to circle gently. I was concentrating closely on Emmett's actions because it was so out of character for him. He was taking it so slow and gentle and fucking erotic. It was like he'd been reading or practicing or taking lessons, or something. Everything felt so----gooood. I let out a gentle moan.

Then, it was evident that if he had been taking lessons, he hadn't graduated yet.

At the moment I made a sound----his thumb entered me hard and continued to jab in and out of me like a jackhammer.. SO much for slow and gentle.

Remembering the door, I moved my eyes there---and I was not disappointed. Edward was there in white thin cotton sleep pants and no shirt. He was already biting his lip---eyes fixed on mine. Immediately my thighs trembled slightly and I let out a quiet shiver.

Emmett moaned "Oh yea."

Edward's beautiful mouth gave just the slightest hint of a smile as he continued to chew on his lip. I smiled back at him and it was the most liberating feeling. Yes, it was wrong. It was horribly wrong. But what Emmett had done to Edward all those years ago was wrong, too. And dammit I had no idea how repressed I'd been all this time.

I looked into Edward's eyes---and there I was alive. I was free. I was even naughty. And I friggin loved it! My eyes widened as I watched one of Edward's hands move from the doorway down to his center, rubbing his hands against the thin white fabric to create his own pleasure. My thighs quaked for the second time.

"Oh Bella, I can't wait." Emmett said as he moved his way on top of me and slid inside.

Just as he made entry, my breath caught----because standing in my doorway, Edward reached into his white cotton pants and held his breathtaking shaft in his hand---for me to see. His strokes were gentle and slow---in the exact rhythm that I was moving my hips against Emmett's ferociously irregular thrusts.

I thought I'd lose it right there---I whimpered---but I had to wait for him. I wanted to share an orgasm with Edward. I just hoped Emmett could hold out that long.

I watched as Edward's brow furrowed in concentration, never once leaving my gaze. I sped up my movements and watched as his rhythm stayed with mine. I saw his chest heaving more rapidly. I watched as he bit his lip harder, appearing to restrain a moan. I moaned out for him, loudly, continually. I watched as he responded to my sounds and just as Edward's grip on the doorframe tightened and his legs stiffened, I felt my own body tighten against my husband as the most overwhelming orgasmic rush forced its way through me. I took a few moments for me to catch my breath and regain control of my thoughts and body.

"Bella, that was so damn good" Emmett claimed as his head collapsed onto my chest.

When I looked back to the door, Edward was gone. Sadly, I smiled in that direction anyway as I ran my fingers through my husband dark curls.

Edward was right. He was a good EFing brother-in-law. And from now on the door would always be open for Edward Cullen at our house. However, I knew deep down, that there was no way it could ever just stop there.


	2. Voting and just WOW!

WOW!

I am at a total loss for words!

The amount of support, encouragement, and praise I have gotten in the past few days has left me sincerely touched and flattered. I am brand new to Fanfic---I wrote my first chapter for my first story just about 2 weeks ago.(Boys of Summer) I noticed this contest and thought it sounded like a good way to get my feet wet. In fact , Open Door policy had my very first lemon---ever. I was soooo nervous about writing it. Of course it turned out to be so much fun that I decided to add another!

I am amazed at the number of alerts and favorite story messages I've gotten. I am just thrilled and promise to live up to the praise I feel so fortunate to have received.

To answer the question I've gotten repeatedly…

YES---

I am dying to continue this story. I want to know what happens, too---and until I write it I don't really know.

Also, I plan to follow up this story with a retelling in Edward's POV. I absolutely love what Tara Sue Me has done with The Sub and The Dom and I feel like there is enough depth to my characters to explore what makes Edward tick.

So, if you stick with me---I will do my best to make you proud!

If you haven't voted yet----and you feel my story is worthy----I'd really appreciate your vote!

/u/1767203/golden temptress

The contest ends Friday May 8th at 10 central .

(I'll be at Twilight EyeCon Orlando----so I won't see the results until late that night!!!)

Thank you all so very much!!! You people make me want to write and write!!


	3. Chapter 3

**Sorry this has taken SO long! I had a little trouble with a few things--and wouldn't post it until I knew it was true to the characters. Thanks to lovingit who has been my wing-man lately---giving an honest opinion and beta-ing for me.**

**The reviews just totally ROCK!! Thank you so much. I love hearing from each and every one of you!!!**

**I plan to update EPOV in The Other Side of the Door this week as well---before I leave on vacation for a week. I am heading to The Big Apple---keeps your fingers crossed for me that I happen upon a certain hooded actor spending time there.**

**As always---Twilight and the characters are Stephanie's---I just bring them out to play!**

CH. 3

Damn the sun. Relentless---pushing its way in from between the blinds. As much as I wanted to stay in bed---to avoid the inevitable---the sun was constantly , incessantly pressing beyond my lids---reminding me it was time. I had to decide what I was going to do. I dreaded facing my husband today. But on the other hand---my heart raced at the thought of Edward. And the whole of the situation made a conflict of feelings that caused my stomach to roll and bile to seep up into the back of my throat.

Emmett had been my first boyfriend. He was my only boyfriend. I've never experienced anyone else. He was all I knew. To me---Emmett has always been now ---there was Edward---whether I liked it or not. I knew little about Edward. But I liked what I knew.

It was crazy. A week ago---a mere week---my life was normal—boring—humdrum—but normal. I'd wake up---recite my mantra---and try to actually accept that I deserved my fortunate life. And now---I am teetering on devastation---but whose?

Perhaps I was just having some sort of a crisis---a mid-life crisis---an extremely _premature _mid-life crisis. Is that possible in my twenties?

Who was I kidding?

I had-------some sort of ---connection with Edward--- my husband's brother. We had a bond---a special bond---a very special---very seductive---very—fucking incredible bond. It was like a light was suddenly switched on and I was finally freed from darkness. Even when he was pissing me off----one pompous smirk made me want to run my tongue across his jaw. It was raw---it was exciting---and it felt so damn good.

Except---it was all so wrong on so many levels. It was a horrible deception---adultery of the worst sort. As romantic as my mind wanted to interpret it---I've been screwing my husband while emotionally responding to his brother. Geezuz Bella---you've become an episode of Jerry Springer!

I decided to take the easy way out---_such a chicken_!

I waited.

I closed my eyes and I listened.

I listened for Emmett to finish dressing.

I waited and listened for him to go downstairs for breakfast.

I waited and listened for my husband to kiss me on the forehead before he left for work.

I laid there and waited and listened and pretended and felt like complete shit about it.

I wished school was not out for the summer. At least then I'd have a place to escape—to think. My students always kept me very busy. But, no such luck. I decided perhaps a shower would allow an opportunity for thought.

I slipped off my night clothes and slipped into the shower. I leaned my head against the wall and allowed the warm water to run down my back. I'd wished all my troubles would wash down the drain, too----but I knew that wasn't possible. And the moment I stepped from the stall, before I could even grab my towel---the heaviest of feelings settled inside me---at my core---and I had to fight the urge to go back to bed. I dressed and slowly descended the stairs.

Something smelled really good. I peeked into the kitchen. In the center of the table was a beer bottle serving as a makeshift vase to a small bundle of cherry blossoms. Edward was standing at the stove, his back to me. I stood quietly and watched him for a bit. His movements were quick and graceful. He was whistling to himself as he managed two frying pans at once---flipping and turning its contents without even the need for utensils. A vision of puckered lips, tensed jaw and defined was very obviously quite skilled in the kitchen---which led my mind to wonder exactly how many hidden talents this man possessed. It was mouth-watering---and the food looked good , too. Edward pulled a carton of orange juice and a bottle of champagne from the refrigerator.

He turned, I assumed, looking for glasses and spotted my face in the door. "Hi, hungry?" he asked, an enormous smile across his face.

"Mm hmm." I grabbed two glasses from the cabinet above the counter. "It smells fabulous."

"Well then have a seat . You are just in time. It's ready." Edward pulled out my chair, motioned for me to sit down and kissed me on the top of my head.

I couldn't help it. I didn't want to---but I swooned. Butterflies in the stomach---the urge to giggle or dance---the whole bit. I should have felt sick--- guilty---or at least confused.

I was served and catered to like a queen. Nothing inappropriate was said or done. It was all very innocent and very kind. But I knew what it was all about. We both knew.

"Edward. Please sit."

He smiled and sat next to me.

" I need to talk to you."

He muttered something under his breath that sounded a little like "here we go" and his expression changed drastically.

"What we've done is wrong. I feel terrible about it."

"You seemed to feel pretty good last night." He smirked.

Feeling the blood rush up my neck and into my face, I said "I'm not going to try to deny that. But we cannot continue doing this---to Emmett."

As usual Edward took the direct approach. "Are you in love with him?"

"He is my husband."

He exhaled slowly---prolonging my agony---and smirked.. "You didn't answer my question."

"Edward, I made a promise---in front of all our friends and family---I made a promise before God." I've never been an extremely religious person---mostly only calling upon God when I needed help---like now. _Hypocrite---I know. _

In a quiet but very steady voice, Edward asked again. "Are- you- in- love- with -him?" I rolled my eyes. "I wouldn't have married him if didn't love him."

"Are you in love with him now?"

My eyes searched the lines in the tile for a right answer---couldn't find it.

I closed my eyes. "I did---but now---." I felt a few tears trickle out from the corners of my eyes.

Edward took my hand. I wanted to pull back. I shouldn't allow him to comfort me. It wouldn't help. But I let him anyway.

He took my hand and pulled me to him. He cradled my head in his chest and rubbed my hair with long even strokes. He whispered sweet words into my ear with feather-like breaths. He made me actually believe for a moment that it would all be okay. But it couldn't, could it?

His nose brushed my cheek until our foreheads were touching . His head tilted slightly and his lips trembled. Then, he kissed me---gently. I allowed it. I allowed him in. My breathing peaked. My heart raced. It felt good and right and hot. I wanted him to touch me. I wanted his hands on my body so badly. Instinctively my chest pressed into his and my leg seemed to drape itself over his….

"Stop!" I pulled back. I shouted---louder than necessary. I had to…I had to make him believe I meant it. I had to be sure I knew I meant it.

I heard words coming from my mouth between sobs as I raced to the door, "I----can't---I'm sorry---so sorry." I grabbed my keys and headed for my car.

Edward was standing on the front steps as I drove off---arms waving. He was shouting somehting. My windows were up and the radio was blaring. I couldn't allow myself to hear him. If I did---I knew I'd go back.

I had no idea where I was going. I just drove. I passed our old high school. I passed the church where we were married. I drove past Alice's house---my heart sinking when I realized her car was already gone. I drove through the center of town. Then I stopped. I found myself parked along the street in front of Emmett's office building.

I stared at the dashboard through tear-filled eyes.. I thought of Emmett's proposal---our wedding. I remembered our vows. I remembered Esme and Carlisle and how easily they accepted me as a member of their family. I tried to picture their faces knowing what I'd done. I pictured Emmett---working hard every day for me so we could have a nice life. I did not think of Edward---I did not allow myself. This could not be about him.

I got out of the car. I carefully crossed the blurred street to Emmett's building. I got to the large glass doors. I took a deep breath---and I threw up. Right there in the middle of the sidewalk.

I could hear footsteps pass as I brely viewed their shoes from beneath the hair hanging down in my face. I left it there as a barrier---nobody could see me like this.

Then, I heard feet scuttling quickly toward me.

"Fair Maiden----may I be of assistance?" It was strange to hear a sort of drawl in the northeast. Then I felt a hand on my back

"Please allow me to help oh damsel in distressand I will happily supply a little hair of the dog."

Geez---he thought I was drunk. I guess compared to what I was really feeling---drunk was not so bad.

Rather than suffer the humiliation of being spotted puking in front of my husband's workplace---I followed the strange voice---to a bar.

"What's the culprit of your ailments, darlin'?"

I replied staring at the floor "I'm fine---if I just sit here a minute…."

"Whatever you need darlin'---but if you tell me what have you been drinking…Bella----is that you?"

Oh crap----this person---knows me.

I looked up and immediately recognized the face---although the difference from when I'd seen him last until now was the difference between a boy and a man. We'd graduated together---it was a boy Alice always referred to as _misplaced yet captivating_.

"Yes it is---and you are----ummm---"

He smiled around the straw he was chewing on. "Jasper Whit…"

"Whitlost---I remember you."

"It's Whitlock and I remember you, too. Which leads me only to wonder what could possibly have Ms. Bella Swan---er---Cullen, right?---so tangled that she would blow proverbial chunks on the threshold of her very large husband's workplace?"

I had no idea how this fellow knew so much about my life---or why he'd care.

"It's nothing. I've not _done_ anything---really.."

"Oh--darlin' we've all done something at some point---what could be so bad to instigate regurgitation?"

He sounded genuinely concerned and part of me wanted to spill my soul---but I couldn't

"I---I---I---I can't ..." Tears resumed burning tracks down my cheeks.

"Aw honey---can't be that bad---you can tell Dr. Jasper---after all ---a bartender is the poor man's psychologist, ya know."

I just sat there, on my tall wooden stool and picked at the skin around my fingernails. I was too chicken to say it to a veritable stranger----how did I ever think I could tell my husband.

"Can take a little guess---you're a beautiful woman---certain to be surrounded by temptations---"

I almost fell off my stool. "No! That's not it at all. I need to go."

"Sweetie---it is quite common."

My face become red.

"Do you love him?" he asked.

My mouth said nothing---but apparently my eyes spoke volumes.

Jasper Whitlock shook his head. "Well, I suppose you do have yourself in a bit of a pickle."

I found myself suddenly counting the fake stones on the tiled floor.

"Well darlin' you need to decide what is best for you."

I spoke and Jasper jerked to attention---probably surprised to hear a voice other than his own. "I have a question."

"Well then, my sweet flash from the past---I'll have an answer."

"What if ---the answer isn't---obvious?"

"Well, then I'd listen to my heart---it usually knows where it's going---and goes there anyway."

I found myself nodding---and noticed that he was, too.

I stood to leave when suddenly Jasper Whitlock was the one who looked very nervous. It was his turn to stare at the floor.

"Umm---Bella---uhh---how is Alice doing these days?"

"She is great---she'll be so pleased when I tell her I saw you."

"I don't believe I've seen her since graduation." His fingers fidgeted with the peanuts on the bar, his eyes still cast down.

"Would you like me to tell her you said hello?"

"Yes ma'am. I'd like that very much." Jasper grinned ---displaying the deepest dimples I think I'd ever seen.

I left the bar and walked right back into the shadows of Emmett's intimidating building. This time I grasped the handle and walked right in. I had no idea what I was going to say. I just needed to see my husband---to give him the opportunity to make me see how foolish I'd been for ever once questioning us.

I rode the elevator up and opened the door to his particular office. Rosalie was not at her desk and Emmett's door was closed. I sat in one of the cushioned chairs along the wall and waited.

After at least 30 minutes, Rose exited my husbands office ---laughing. I seemed to have startled her once I caught her eye.

"Oh---Bella. I'm sorry. We were in a---meeting. Um---Em--er--Mr. Cullen needed me to take notes. Umm---I'm really sorry to keep you waiting. I hope you weren't here---waiting ---very long?" It sounded more like a question than a statement.

Bless her heart. Rosalie always went to an awful lot of trouble to explain herself to me. I appreciated her kindness---but she needn't worry. I'd always known that she and Emmett had been good friends for a very long time. After all, I was the person who suggested to Emmett that he hire her for his secretary in the first place.

'That's fine Rosalie, really. I haven't been here too long. How have you been?"

"Oh---you know. The same. Nothing exciting going on here."

Poor Rosalie Hale. She never did settle down after high school. It was a shame she couldn't find a nice guy.

_Or could she? _I just happened to have one nice guy too many right at my house.

" Rose---I actually came down here to invite you over for dinner tonight. Are you available?"

"Well, I don't have any plans. Are you sure---I don't want to be an imposition."

"Don't be silly---I am positive. Emmett and I would love to have you."

I excused myself from the office without ever even speaking to Emmett. I headed to the grocery store. I had lots of arrangements to make. If I played my cards right---perhaps everything could work out perfectly---for everyone.


	4. Chapter 4

**Thanks for all the incredible reviews!!! I totally live for them ---lurking around my inbox---just looking for my next fix! So---hurry---read---then review!!! Thanks!**

**As always Twilight belongs to Stephenie Meyer---but the Good EFing Brother-in-law belongs to me!**

Rosalie Hale was coming to dinner tonight---for Edward. This was a good thing. At least that's what I kept telling myself.

If this was so right, how come I thought of Edward's strong arms as I shopped for the ingredients to prepare tonight's lasagna dinner? Why did the smell of his cologne fill my senses when the aroma of tomato sauce rose with the steam from the large stockpot on the stove? Why did I picture his long perfect fingers as I watched my own chop the vegetables for the salad? Why was it the square line of Edward's jaw I envisioned reflecting in the china as I removed it from its home in the high shelves of the cabinet?

But this was right---what I was doing tonight. It was the right thing to do. This would save my marriage. And it had to be a marriage worth saving. Emmett was a good man, a provider, and a loving husband. I had to do this. I could do this. It's just what had to be.

"Need some help?"

Startled by his voice, I didn't have to look up to know the intense green of the eyes certain to be staring at me, tempting me.

"Umm---no. I think I've got it." _Shit, my voice cracked. Get it together Bella._ "You just need to get dressed for dinner tonight." Wincing, I added "We're having a guest—so, umm—look nice?"

I looked toward the door just in time to see it swinging closed. _Whew._ I would just have to face each hurdle one at a time---and that was one down. Edward would not be happy if he knew what I was doing. But perhaps he'll never need to know. Rosalie was a beautiful girl. Maybe they'll just hit it off from the start. I know I had no right, but thinking of them together made my insides ache. And imagining Emmett discovering the feelings I'd been having lately about his brother also made my insides ache. So either way---I was going to get hurt.

I thought back to my early days with Emmett. I remembered the first time I met his parents---Edward was at art class that night. Esme had shown me some of the things he'd been working on---they were amazing. I quickly switched my thoughts to my first Thanksgiving dinner at the Cullen's. Edward wasn't there then either. He was volunteering at a homeless shelter that year. I tried to think of something not Cullen family related. Prom. Emmett was dashing in his black tux and red cummerbund and tie. He brought me the most beautiful corsage of tiny red rosebuds. He was a senior and I was a junior. Edward was a junior, too. But he didn't go to the prom. _Why did I know that? Why do I have all these details in memory about Edward? Could I have always subconsciously been looking for him?_

Faced with more than I could process at that moment, I turned to grab a bottle of Marsala I needed to make the tiramisu for dessert. _A-h-h-h-h-h._ I couldn't help but gasp.

Propped in the doorway was my very wet, much underdressed, ridiculously hot, brother in law. _Yes, Bella---Brother In LAW! _

And he was wearing a towel. Only a towel. And according to that towel---he was enjoying the moment. Looking smug---and maybe even a little drunk---the corners of his mouth drew into a slight crooked smile.

"Ummmm Edward----I didn't see you there." I said, trying hard to keep my composure.

""What time will our guest be arriving?" he asked with the perhaps the slightest slur, seductively running his teeth along his bottom lip. _Yes, Bella---giving it up is the right thing to do. _

Staring straight into his eyes, perhaps in hopes he'd see through me somehow, I answered. "She'll be here at 6."

"Mmmm---she huh?" _Did he just raise his eyebrows?_ "Anyone I know?" _He's smiling. Why is he smiling?_

I wasn't sure exactly how Edward was going to respond to the idea that I was setting him up, but this certainly wasn't anything even close to the reaction I would have imagined.

Forcing a wide grin, I faked enthusiasm "You may---she graduated with us---Rosalie Hale?"

Edward's emerald eyes drifted up, I'm guessing in thought. "Rosalie! Of course I remember her--- how could I forget the head cheerleader? I understand she never married. How nice. It'll be wonderful to see her again."

His response settled in my chest like a hot poker. _Why shouldn't he remember her? He's right. Who could forget perfect Rosalie Hale? And why the hell was it bothering me so much? This was my fucking idea---remember!_

I did not see Edward again until after Emmett got home with Rosalie. I was greeting them at the door when I suddenly noticed them both turn toward the stairs.

_Oh. Fuck. Me._

Edward was walking down the stairs and I swear it was in slow motion. He looked like a God or someone on the cover of a men's magazine. He looked incredible and scrumptiousand totally fucking yum in a black suit with the tightest dress pants, a white dress shirt and a skinny black tie. I watched as he left the stairwell and walked toward me. I had to fight off the urge to just touch him or grab his tie and drag him to my bed. _Bella, you can do this._ _Focus!_

Any feelings of wanton desire quickly faded and were replaced by disappointment and hurt. I watched in disbelief as Edward breezed right past me, to kiss Rosalie's hand. I stood in my foyer, mouth open, watching as he fawned all over her. I mean, they were hitting it off. That was what I had wanted. Wasn't it?

His voice and my name brought me back to the foyer.

"Bella, how long before dinner is ready?"

Faking another brilliant smile I said, "Oh, at least 20 minutes."

He looked at Rosalie with those eyes that I'd shared myself with intimately. "Perfect. Rosalie, would you care to take a walk in the garden with me? Bella keeps a lovely garden." _What?_

"I would love that." She said and put out her elbow like she was the damn Queen of England. And he took it!

Edward escorted Rosalie out of my kitchen and into my garden and I was suddenly left alone in my house with my husband. We were both silent---eerily silent. I realized that Emmett was being unusually withdrawn. He hadn't cracked one joke---not even about Edward's suit. Had my face revealed my emotions? Was he onto me?

I looked at my husband's face and he was staring at the back door that his brother and his secretary had just exited.

"Em—you're awful quiet. Are you alright?"

"Yea---just---umm---so you decided to invite Rosalie to dinner?" he said.

"I hope that's okay."

"You'd just never mentioned anything about inviting her over here before."

"Well, it was sort of spur of the moment." I explained.

"Well, I'm surprised she agreed. I –umm---think she's been seeing someone." he said.

"Oh---I didn't know." _Not that I'd asked._

"Well, Rosalie is a very discreet girl." He added shortly.

"I didn't mean any harm. I just popped into your office earlier. She seemed lonely and when I asked, she said she didn't have any plans for dinner. I thought it was worth a shot that maybe she and Edward would hit it off." I was lying. But I thought it sounded good.

"Playing matchmaker never works, Bella. People just get hurt!" He said it rather abruptly, the kind of words that leave an imaginary imprint on your cheek.

Emmett stomped off to the family room without another word or any offer to help in the kitchen. I heard him turn on the game. _That's right, Bella. Play matchmaker so Rosalie Hale can be can be as fucking happy as you are._

I removed the lasagna from the oven and finished setting the table. I walked to the back door to let Edward and Rosalie know that dinner was ready. Peeking out the door just a crack, I saw Edward's arm around Rosalie, his face close to hers, his fingers caressing her cheek. They were speaking too softly for me to hear, but I could see the intensity on his face.

Swallowing hard against the lump in my throat, tears filling my eyes, I closed the door quietly and took several steps away from the window. I felt cold and alone. I suddenly realized ---I couldn't do it. I didn't want to do it. What I wanted was to push Rosalie Hale's ass down into the garden, grab Edward by the back of his neck and kiss him passionately until he admitted he only wanted me---and at that very moment---I didn't give a shit who would see it.


	5. Chapter 5

**Okay---it's a short update---but that's because I also just posted a chapter of Other Side of the Door. I just needed to speak from both POVs right now. **

**So, if you are reading this fic---you need to also read Other Side of the Door---it is Edward's POV of this story. I discovered in reviews---some of you have only been getting one side of the story. **

**Don't forget to visit the Twilighted thread for Open Door Policy and say HI!**

**Check out my newest fic--- for the Love Through Lemons contest. It's called Mating Calls and Monkey Wrenches. It is a Rosalie/Emmett fic. Let me know what you think. If it gets a response I might continue it after the contest.**

**As always---Stephanie owns it all---I just wish I did!**

**_______________________________________________________________________**

I placed my hand on the knob. I was going to do it. I wore my heart on my sleeve and I would profess my true feelings for anyone listening. Just as I started to turn it, Edward stood, offering his hand to Rosalie. I saw him look at her, his green eyes sparkling, and a sudden realization came over me. What if he didn't want me anymore? What if I had just set him up with the true love of his life?

I looked from Edward to the family room, where I could hear the hum of the ESPN announcer providing Emmett with all the sports news. I could hear my heart beating loudly in my ears. My palms began to sweat and my face felt cold. Before I could contain a rational thought, my keys were in my hands and I was heading for the door. Within less then a minute, I was backing out of the driveway and speeding down the street of our residential neighborhood.

I drove for blocks before I realized I had no idea where I was going.  
Alice. I needed tot talk to Alice.

I went to grab my cell phone out of my purse and realized, in my haste, I'd forgotten to grab my purse.

So, I just drove.

No money. No license. No phone. No destination.

Just escape.

As I made my way past all the two story homes in my neighborhood, I wondered what kind of home I might have had with Edward, if Esme had realized the truth all those years ago. Would I have stayed in Forks or would we be living elsewhere? London, perhaps?

Would I have gone to state school if I hadn't been following Emmett, or would I have followed Edward to London? I figured Edward would have made encouraged me to choose a school best for me---and I could even imagine him following me there.

All those holidays that he had spent doing volunteer work. I wondered if he did that to avoid me. If we had been together, if things had been different, would we have spent holidays together laughing in Esme's kitchen or helping Carlisle set up his trains?

I had enjoyed spending that time with his family, though Emmett had busied himself hiding in the basement watching sports.

Tears filled my eyes as I traveled up the ramp to the freeway. I remembered our first Christmas after we were married. Esme, her eyes dancing with hope and anticipation, mentioned how much fun it would be to hang stockings for little ones again. I hadn't the heart to tell her that Emmett informed me shortly after the wedding that he wanted to put off starting a family. When I had questioned him regarding for how long, he simply stated "indefinitely."

I smiled picturing Edward with children. I saw him once, from a distance trick-or-treating with a group of children from the local orphanage. He was so animated and comfortable with those children. I remembered admiring him that night way back then. I had thought I was just admiring his character---but now I knew better.

I steered off the highway and headed down the familiar street saddled with tall buildings. I parked outside the one single story business on the block. My thoughts turned to that night---that first night I saw Edward after his time at school. I remembered how nervous I was cooking for him. I was never certain if he liked me. He'd seemed to have spent so much time avoiding me. I remembered my trepidation as Emmett opened the door and brought him into my home. A smile curved my lips as I recalled the sound of his voice like warm smooth butter, and how I melted just hearing him say my name.

Not ready to face anyone, I reclined my seat, closed my eyes and remembered that first night. My stomach turned, thinking of the distaste I had for Emmett waking me to fulfill his drunken needs. My brow furrowed remembering his awkward touch. But then, he was there. Edward. Just thinking of him standing there, desire in his eyes, brought the feeling of butterflies to my stomach. He had been loving and nurturing, without uttering a single word. Without a single touch, Edward bought me places I'd never been, allowing me experience sensations I'd only dreamt of.

And Edward's kiss. _Sigh._ His kisses, that day when he explained his feelings to me, elicited warmth and sincerity, passion and emotion that I had not felt in the 4 years I'd been with his brother. I knew this was wrong---but what if it was also ---just---right. What if Edward was the destiny I was supposed to have attained?

I reached up with the corner of my shirt and wiped a clear spot to see out my driver's side window. I looked at the building in front of me with its flashing lights that spelled out W-h-i-t-l-o-c-k-s. There were a few people standing outside smoking. Among them, I recognized Jasper's face, even through my foggy window.

I laid my hand on the door handle for several moments before I finally decided to open it.

As I approached the bar, Jasper Whitlock took a long drag from his cigarette, exhaled slowly and flicked the butt into the street.

"Why, the ever ravishing Mrs. Cullen—I am surprised yet pleased to see you here---beyond the normal working man's day."

He was nodding toward Emmett's darkened office building.

"Is my establishment to be the journey or the destination?" he asked in his typical tribal tongue.

"Jasper, I haven't the faintest clue what you just asked---but I need a fucking drink."

"Well then, by all means, my lady, come in."

He held the door open for me and swung his arm in a very grandiose manner, motioning for me to enter. I took the first tall stool, resting my elbows on the large wooden bar.

He grabbed a glass from the hanging rack. "So, what's your pleasure---or does the occasion call for poison?"

"I don't care, Jasper---.I just need something that will make me numb."

"Poison it is." He said as he poured from several different liquor bottles, adding just a dash of coke on the top---which I assumed was just for color.

"Try this." He said with a flash of dimples as he slid the glass across the bar to me. His face reminded me momentarily of a mad scientist handing over a test tube of his latest concoction. I half expected to see him rubbing his hands together in anticipation.

Suddenly I remembered the haste in which I'd left the house. "Ohhh---Jasper---I walked out without my purse. Umm---can I come back and pay you tomorrow?"

"Fair Juliet---your money is no good here---you should know that."

I smile and thanked him---knowing full well I'd be returning to pay him anyway.

I put the mixture to my lips and swallowed half of what was in the glass in one large gulp. It was good.

"Mmmmm. Tastes like ice tea." I said licking my lips.

"Indeed." Jasper replied with a nod, his eyes fast on me. He stayed like that---looking intently---as if we were having an intense conversation, when in fact we were both quite silent.

When I'd finished the first drink, there was already a second on the bar waiting for me.

I just smiled---he just stared.

We continued that little game of sorts until I had consumed 5 glasses of "tea"---or maybe it was 6---who knows.

Once I had picked up the 5th/6th glass, Jasper excused himself from the bar. He was playing the keyboard in the corner and singing a song that made about as much sense to me as any of his conversations ever did. But the tune was catchy. I realized I hadn't been dancing in a bar---since---well---ever, actually. I'd never been dancing in a bar. I found my body swaying to the music. I finished my 5th/6th glass of "tea" and stood up to find the restroom. It seemed like the room went on forever as I walked past its several patrons to the restroom in the back.

When I came out, Jasper had started singing another song, which was apparently based on a word someone from the crowd had challenged him with. He was quite the talented musician. _I'd have to remember to tell him that later._

I spun on my heel to turn toward the source of the music and suddenly everything began to spin. _Shit! Somebody was spinning the bar._

I realized I had better sit my ass down, just as a hand touched my shoulder. It was Mike Newton. He had played ball with Emmett in college. He also worked for Emmett's competing firm.

"Well, if it isn't Bella Cullen? Where's Emmett? I can't wait to tell him about the newest account I've acquired."

I hated Mike Newton. He was one of those weasely men who think they are far more desirable than they are----which in Mike's case was---not at all. He had made a pass at me more than once at different business functions and I'm pretty sure he once put his hand on my ass on purpose even though he pretended to stumble. I should probably pretend Emmett's in the bathroom or at the car so he'll leave me alone.

I said "Umm---he's not here." _Good job, Bella._

"Wow. I figured Emmett for a sharper man. I'd never let my beautiful wife hang out in a bar alone."

"Well, you'd probably never have to worry about that." _I think that came out worse than I intended._

He looked at the empty glass in my hand. "So, Bella, why don't you let me buy you a drink?"

A voice of reason spoke up behind me.

"The fair Bella has had enough. And if the lady wishes for more, they are always on the house." _Jasper to the rescue---my hero. _

"Ah---I see how it is, Bella. You've got a little side action going on. Well, that explains why Em's always chasing his secretary's skirt. Or is this set-up something consensual. Because if it is---I'd be interested…"

Thanks to the "tea" his implications took me a moment to process.

"What I've got on the side is…is…is none of your---------whaaat?"

You could have knocked me over with a feather----well, even if I hadn't had too many teas. Mike Newton was an asshole---and a weasel---but I'd never known him to be a liar.

"Emmett does what?" I asked---suddenly feeling much more sober than I probably was.

"Oh---nothing---you know---guys assume things. It was nice seeing ya, Bella." Mike Newton said those last two words on his way out the door.

Jasper eyed me curiously. "What'd you do, fair maiden? Stab Mike Newton with a swizzle stick? I've been trying to find a way to make that guy leave my bar for years."

I'm not sure what came over me---but years of anger and frustration and trudging along in an unhappy situation and lying to myself about it all suddenly caught up with me---and it exploded against the back of the bar with a shattering of the glass I'd been holding.

"That asshole!" I grabbed another empty glass next to me. _Crash!_

"I cannot believe I have been such a pathetic damn fool!" I took the beer bottle from the man to my right. _Crash!_

With every glass I broke, I felt just a tiny bit better, as if it offered some release. Unfortunately for Jasper Whitlock, I had a fucking ton of pent up anxiety bottled up inside me and he only had so many glasses.

**How was that??? Pleeeease let me know. **

**If you leave me love---I'll have Jasper mix you a drink.**


	6. Chapter 6

**A/N Okay---Bella is pretty trashed in this chapter. She's not going to be remembering too much about her time in the bar, so I am writing in 1****st**** person present tense. Since there's no way in Hell she'll be reflecting, it just didn't feel right to write it any other way. I am not a fan of 1****st**** person present tense normally, but I feel you need to know Bella's POV---authentically! If it reads awkwardly for you---I apologize----but I just felt it had to be.**

**Oh---and no beta this time---so forgive me if there are errors.**

**As always Twilight belongs to Stephenie Meyer---I just hope she'd approve of what I'm doing with her characters.**

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_I'm not sure how I got here, but I do kinda like the view from way up here on the bar. I don't see Mike fucking Newton anywhere. Thank God. But I can see everything else. Jasper's in the back dancing with a bunch of fat middle-aged men who are preoccupied with throwing dishes. There's a jukebox in the corner playin' some old Stones. When the door to the men's room swings at just the right time, I can see the condom machine on the far wall. I can't imagine why they only put condom machines in the men's room. We women need to buy condoms too---and it would sure as hell be less embarrassing to buy them in the privacy of a restroom instead of plunking them down on the counter in Walmart. After all---if we girls don't have a condom---we are the one's suffering the consequences._

_Damn---it's a good thing I didn't have any kids with Emmett. I wonder if he just didn't want kids with me---and if he'd be happy with a whole fucking litter from Rosalie---that bitch._

_Shit---everything's spinning. I didn't know Jasper's bar rotated. Sure wish he'd turn the damn thing off._

"Hey---Jazzzperr---turn off your fuckin' bar!"

_Did he just smile and wave at me? And what the fuck is "Opa!" supposed to mean?_

_Man---my mouth is really dry---aaaand—my glass is empty. _

"Jazzzperr, I need another drink?"

_Aww, he can't hear me---too busy still bustin' shit with the old hairy guys. _

_I'll just have to help myself. What did Jasper put in my drinks anyway? Who the fuck knows? Eh---beer works just the same for numbing. And---how handy---I can reach the tap from where I'm sitting._

_Oh, well, look who just walked the fuck in. Edward, too damn tempting for words, Cullen. God I'd like to lay him out right here on this bar….and screw the…_

_Wait! What's he doing here? Where's Rosalie? Miss Perfect. _

_I'm soooo damn stupid. And blind. I'm stupid and blind and a fucking moron. I actually set Rosalie and Emmett up. I pushed them together. And it took Mike fucking Newton_ _to fill me in. I just---I can't friggin believe it. I had always heard mumblings in high school about Emmett and Rose, but Em always swore they'd just shared a bunch of shit and because they'd always end up in these totally fucked up situations because of sports---that they'd become very comfortable together and were just really good friends. _

_And, of course, I believed him. Gullible---naïve and dumb. That's me. _

_Just like I believed that Emmett carved our initials in that tree behind his parent's house--- and it wasn't even Emmett. It was Edward who'd carved them. He's the one who at least cared about me ---even way back then. _

_Fuck! And now I set HIM up with Rosalie, too. _

_Rosalie is a pretty name---too pretty for a sneaky slut like her. Rose-a-__**lay **__is more like it. _

_Maybe I just don't deserve to be happy. Maybe I am too fucking dumb for happiness._

_Oh Jeezuz---he found me. His voice is so smooth and sweet, like melted fuckin' chocolate. _

"Bella---honey. It's okay." he said.

_It's okay?? Yea---he looked okay with Rosalie in __**my**__ damn yard right before I left. Fuck him. _

"Stay away from me---you---you---MAN!"

_Yep---I told him_.

_Oh, but his touch. His gentle fucking touch warmed my skin as he spoke beautiful words. _

"Sweetie---its okay---I'm here. Just tell me…"

_Though I didn't want to, I pushed him away._

"No! You tell me! Wheeeere's Rose-a-lay?"

"She's still at your house. When we got the call from Jasper…" he said.

_Oh---that asshole. I thought he was my friend---my good friend---my good friend with booze. But __**no**__!_

"Jazzper! You traitor---I thought you were on my side---but you're all the same---just one more slippery male."

_They both just shushed me---in tandem! Like what they're saying is sooo flippin' important._

"Shush shush shush you---Don't you shush me. I have important things to say."

_Fuck---what was____I saying?_

_There goes the damn bar again---spinning'. Where's the speed control on this thing? Fuck it goes really fast. At least Edward's offering me his hand---trying to be a gentleman._

"C'mon Bella. Get down. I'll get you home." He said.

_I was perfectly happy right where I was—on the bar----if only it would stay still._

"I'm NOT going anywhere with YOU."

"Why not?" Edward asked.

_Let's see. You come into my house. You fuck with my emotions and you make out with Rose-a-lay in my back yard._

"Cuz you're mmmmean."_ See what he has to say about that!_

He tried to explain, "Bella, I could never be mean or in any way malicious to you---if my behavior tonight…"

_His behavior tonight?_

"Your behavior tonight was disgusting. You and Rose-a lay. What's she got that I don't? Why does everybody want her?"

"Honey---I DON"T want her." He said.

"But Emmett does! ---maybe he always has." More sobering words, I'd never said.

Somehow right then, I knew it. Emmett did want her. He always had.

My chin started to shake. I tried to be tough.

My eyes started tearing. I tried to blink them away.

But it was too late. It was ALL too late.

I couldn't imagine why Emmett had ever asked me out in high school in the first place. He came after me---pursuing me hard. And he waited a year for me to join him in college. Why? Was it all a big joke? Ha fucking ha?

And how many other people knew? Was poor pathetic Bella the only person too blind to see what was right in front of her fucking face? What a tool I must be!

And now what? What do I tell Esme and Carlisle---my mom and Charlie? Where do I go? What do I do? Do I still even have a home? Was Rosalie taking my place? What would happen to me? Fear spread like poison throughout my thoughts. It made my breath quicken. It made my body tremble. It made my insides cringe.

But then, I felt Edward's hands under me---lifting me. Too weak to argue, I leaned into his body. He was warmth, and comfort and ---just---there. I rested my cheek on his chest, his heartbeat in my ear. It was a steady and constant rhythm---a steady and constant reminder of him. It soothed me.

I felt the cool air hit my face as Edward carried me out into the street. I wasn't sure where we were going. Still, his heartbeat lulled me. "It's okay" it said. "It's okay."

Funny. I'd lost it all. _My home. My marriage. My life._ But with nothing left to lose, I suddenly felt an immeasurable calm. My mind, for the first time ever, was completely empty. I thought of nothing but the peaceful sound in my ear.

I didn't wonder why Edward came too get me instead of Emmett. I didn't wonder what Emmett and Rosalie might be doing at my house. I didn't even wonder where I'd be sleeping that night. Somehow, I knew I'd be taken care of.

I closed my eyes, my face pressed against Edward's now damp shirt. He was talking to Jasper. I wasn't listening. I didn't care what they said. Nothing else was important. I focused all my attention on the only comfort I had in the entire world at that moment---Edward's heart.

"It's okay." It said. "It's okay."

**Now run---review---please!! If you hate it tell me ---I need to know what doesn't work! If you like it---I need to know that, too! Either way---leave a review and Edward will give you a ride home!**

****I have written what I think is my personal best piece of writing so far for the Parkaward Contest. It is called The Metamorphosis---and if you tend to like an adorkable Edward in a sweet story---it's a must read! Voting begins on or about September 6****th****. If you like it---I'd appreciate your vote!**

**http://www(dot)fanfiction(dot)net/s/5329447/1/The_Metamorphosis**


	7. Chapter 7

**Thanks as always to emilyg80 for her master-beta skills, even if she is always demanding more smut. What a slave driver!**

**Thanks for the reviews, suggestions and thoughts from all you lovely people. It totally makes my days!!**

**Also: I have written an entry for the Parkaward Contest. **

**It is called ****The Metamorphosis ****and, if you tend to like an adorkable Edward in a sweet story, it's a must read! **

**Voting is happening NOW! **

**http://www(dot)fanfiction(dot)net/u/2018097/Parkaward_Contest**

**Disclaimer: Twilight and everything really good belongs to Stephenie Meyer---I only wish they were mine!**

**______________________________________________________________________________________**

Before even opening my eyes, I was reminded of the events of the night before by the throbbing in my head. It was relentless; although I'd wished the pounding would've drowned out the memories that were seeping into my conscious. They started out slow, just a few random bits and pieces: broken dishes, broken vows and Rosalie Hale. _Oh fuck, my head!_

Then, with a gush, they became more vivid. I remembered Whitlock's—me on the bar. Too many drinks. Mike Newton. The truth.

They just kept coming like a flash flood…until I remembered it all. Every fucked up detail.

I just lay there wishing the pain would stop---hoping the memories would go away------ praying for everything to fall silent. But those ruthless reminders remained.

Just when I thought it couldn't get any worse, a familiar feeling began in my abdomen. _Oh, God._ My mouth filled with saliva and my head began to spin. I jumped up from under the covers---discovering that I'd slept on floor. _On the floor?_ I moved too quickly and my hands jerked to hold my head still. _What the fuck did I drink? _I had a feeling I would soon find out.

I had to run down the hall, past my room and into the bathroom, reaching the toilet just in time. It dawned on me at that point that I'd not slept in my own room. I sat down on the cool tile for what felt like forever; resting my cheek on the seat, not really caring where I was. Looking down at my shoes, I realized I was still dressed in my clothes from the night before.

I remembered the bar and Jasper. I remembered Edward finding me. I vaguely remembered him carrying me out of the bar. But that was all. Getting home, going upstairs, somehow winding up in Edward's room was all black.

Afraid to move, I focused on the bathmat beneath me and my mind began to wander. I thought about Emmett, and about Edward. I thought about what I wanted and what I should want. I thought about what was, what was to be and what could have been. I thought and I thought and I thought.

Then I threw up again. _Oh shit, my head._

As I sat on my knees hunched over the toilet, expelling more of last night's poison, I became startled. My hair was gently pulled back from around my face and cool fingers began massaging the back of my neck. It felt wonderful.

I didn't even have to look up. I knew whose face I'd see. Edward.

I smiled up at him the best could. "Thanks."

His fore head was wrinkled with concern. "You okay?"

"What do you think?" I shrugged

"I think you've probably got one hell of a headache."

"Wow, you must be a mind reader?" I tried to laugh, but it hurt too much.

"I also think you have a really hard day ahead of you. But there are a few details you need to know first."

"Edward, I really don't want --any----details." He smiled a comforting smile, the kind that makes girls hearts melt. I rolled my eyes and shrugged my shoulders in a way that let him know I'd listen.

" Emmett has been chasing Rosalie ever since she came back to Forks; including the entire time she has worked for him."

My heart sank and I thought I might throw up again. "Thanks---that really helps."

"Except---let me finish---that Rosalie would have no part of it. That's what she told me. She has never stopped loving him, but she would not have an affair with him---not as long as he was married to you."

"And you believed her?" I asked, honestly.

"Yes. She had no reason to tell me anything at all. So why volunteer a lie? Plus she was very upset and more honest than she needed to be. I think she is telling the truth."

"So Emmett didn't cheat on me…"

"Not technically…" Edward shrugged.

"But he wanted to." I knew it was true.

Edward nodded. I was feeling stronger than I had the night before or even the moment before. I wasn't sure if it was because I'd had time to get used to the idea and process everything, or if I was still just numb from the alcohol. Probably a little of both.

Edward smiled a crooked smile. "Umm, I could help you up. Unless you like it down there."

I looked around at the floor and felt my face turn red. What a sight I must have been! Edward lifted me up, and helped me back into the guest bedroom.

Disgusted with myself, I said "Ugh, I really need to get out of these clothes."

"Yeah---sorry about that. I considered helping you into pajamas, but a man can only guarantee so much control."

My hands holding either side of my brow, I said "Stop making me laugh. It hurts."

Edward leaned down and kissed the top of my head. He was always doing things like that. Things that made the butterflies in my stomach go crazy.

"Edward, thank you for being there for me last night. I can't remember everything you did for me, but I know it was a lot."

"No need to thank me, Bella. I like doing things for you." He said as if it were the most natural thing on earth.

"Umm, I can't make any promises right now, but when this is all…well, you know. When Emmett and I…"

"Bella, I'm not asking for anything from you. No promises, no definitions, no pressure, nothing."

Then Edward went downstairs and I finally breathed. I didn't even realize I'd been holding it. I had feelings for Edward. I knew that. I tried to fight them, but it was pointless. I just didn't have the energy or foresight to figure out exactly what I hoped for. I did know that I was happiest when I was with Edward and I always looked forward to when I'd see him again. I suppose, that was plenty for the moment.

When he returned, Edward was holding my clean clothes from the dryer and he must have tumbled them for a few minutes, because they were warm. He handed me a tee and sweats, making a point to twirl my lace underwear on his finger before tossing them onto the bed. _Damn. _My whole world may be crumbling at my feet, but seeing Edward Cullen's hands in my panties caused the ones I was wearing to dampen.

"Thanks." I blushed as I bundled my clothes in my arms and I headed down the hall to the shower.

The cool water felt so good against my skin. It was refreshing to smell something other than stale alcohol. It almost seemed as if I was actually washing some of my worries down the drain, I'd felt so much better. And then, when I opened the shower curtain, all the pain and heartache was right there waiting for me.

Once I'd dried off, I noticed the smell of bacon coming from the kitchen. I quickly dressed, glancing at Emmett's door to be sure he was still asleep, and walked slowly and carefully down the stairs.

Edward was standing at the stove in the kitchen, wearing my apron. It was a gift from my mother-in-law one year for Christmas. It was made of cheese cloth and quite vintage looking; blue and white check with red roosters. It was very much Esme, not so much me, and even less Edward. I tried to giggle quietly. His head spun in my direction at the noise.

He spoke, all hunched over, swinging his pointed finger at me wildly. "Never laugh at cook. You get not-so-special ingredient in food." Edward said --- very Confucius-like.

That made me laugh out loud. "Oh my God! You sound like Whitlock!"

"Oh, is that so?" He said pretending to completely tilt a capped bottle of Tabasco sauce over the pan of eggs. "Not so special ingredient for you."

I reached for the bottle, my arms entangled with Edward's, both of us laughing. For a moment I'd forgotten everything else, and it was only Edward and I in the whole world.

That's when Emmett walked in.

His eyes were dark, his complexion was sallow, and he was sweating profusely.

He looked like I felt. I hoped he felt even worse.

His gaze pointed down, he just stood in the doorway. "Morning."

I froze and looked at Edward; who turned suddenly, his back now to us, busying himself with breakfast.

"We need to talk." I stated.

"Where'd you go last night?" Emmet asked. _As if he had the right to ask anything._

"I went to Whitlock's…where I discovered that you have never gotten over Rosalie Hale."

I should have been looking at Emmett's face, but I wasn't. I watched Edward's profile as a smirk stretched across the part of his face I could see. He was proud of me for going in straight forward and not pulling any punches. I could tell.

After a long silence, Emmett finally spoke. "Is that right?"

"So you're admitting it?" _Fucking asshole. _"Emmett, tell me. Are you still _interested _in Rosalie Hale?"

"Yes….but…"

My world stopped at that moment. It stopped, but I kept talking.

"But? There is no_ but_ that I could be even remotely interested in considering!"

"But I also care about you."

I rolled my eyes. _Please._ Like that was supposed to make it all better. How could he possibly have feelings for two people at the same…? Then the irony hit me. _I could completely understand. _

My tone changed. "Tell me."

Emmett looked toward the stove. "Umm…Edward. Would you mind…"

"No." I said. I want him here.

Confused, Emmett bellowed "Edward….leave."

"No." Edward said very calmly. "Bella wants me here, so I stay."

"What the fu…Edward, fucking GO---NOW!"

"No." Edward said over his shoulder as he continued preparing a breakfast I was pretty sure no one would be eating.

Emmett looked at me, eyes bulging, face red. I just shook my head in agreement with his brother. Then he shrugged, defeated and exhaled loudly. "Fine."

"You may know that Rosalie and I dated in high school. Exclusively."

"No, I didn't because you assured me there was nothing between the two of you. And I believed you." I said.

Eyes glued to his feet, he said "Well, we did." He admitted.

"So you lied."

He sighed. "Yep."

"Go on." _At least he was being honest. About damn time!_

"We talked about getting married someday. She was the first girl I ever loved."

"And how many is the total up to now?" I asked.

"Two."

Right answer. "Go on."

"Her mother fucking hated me. We had to hide. She'd have a fit if she ever saw us together. She thought I wasn't good enough for Rose---that I'd stifle her potential."

"So, how did you end up with me?" I asked.

"Her mother. She found out about us. She caught us one night out behind the old…well, never mind. Rose doesn't know---to this day."

"So at least it's not just me you lied to."

"Bella, it wasn't like that. Her mother threatened me. She threatened to take my football scholarship, and she knew people…the right people. I was scared. I didn't know what to do. Fuck, I was a kid!"

Emmett was crying. I'd never seen him cry before. I would have expected myself to follow suit, but I didn't. I remained hard as nails.

"So how did you end up with me?" I asked.

"Rosalie's mother. She said she heard you had a crush on me. She said you were a nice girl within my own social class."

"So we are married because of Rosalie Hale's bitch of a mother? Emmett, grow up."

"No, I asked you out because of her. I married you because I got to know you. And after college and all, it felt right." He said.

"Emmett, the best answer would have been because you fell in love with me. "

"Of course I did. Would I have married you if I didn't?"

"That's a pretty good question." I said.

My eyes moved to Edward. He had finished cooking, but remained standing with his back to us.

"Edward, do you have any questions for your brother?"

"Umm—no, I'm good." He whispered.

"Well, if Edward is too polite to ask, I will. How could you go after me---entice me like you did--- when you knew damn well your brother had feelings for me?"

"You know about that, huh? " His eyes moved to Edward. I felt bad for putting Edward in a predicament, but it all needed to come out.

I nodded.

"He knows why. We talked about it last night."

"I'd love to know." I said looking at both men in my kitchen, arms crossed at my chest.

Emmett got silent, so Edward spoke. "He thought you were a simple crush. Umm I believe he said _the first girl to get my dick hard_. He thought I'd forget about you."

"Nice. Another question for you, Emmett. Why did you carve my initials in the tree behind your mother's house, instead of Rosalie's?"

"I didn't. I don't know anything about that." He said shaking his head.

"That's exactly what I figured." I reached my hand over and touched Edward's arm. His cheeks filled with color.

"Bella, just tell me what you want me to do. Tell me what you want." Emmett pleaded.

I pulled out the big guns---because I really needed to know. "Are you in love with Rosalie Hale?"

I watched as Emmett squeezed his eyes closed and shook his head. He chewed on his lip and wrung his hands. And he continued to cry.

That was my answer. I already knew. But I was going to make him say it. I deserved to hear it. I stood there a long while, waiting.

Finally, as if something foreign had entered the room, his voice interrupted the silence.

"Yes." He sobbed.

"Thank you." I'm not sure why I thanked him. Maybe because he was crying. Maybe because what felt like the hardest part was over. Maybe because I finally got some truth.

"I am so sorry, Bella. For everything. Anything you want. That's what I'll do."

"I think you need to stay with your parents for a while. We both need time to think" I said.

"Okay. I understand. You're right. I'll pack a few things right away. C'mon Edward. "

Edward looked at me, his eyes wide, and I'm sure he saw the surprise on my face. He shrugged, looking helpless, as he followed Emmett out of the kitchen.

As soon as I registered the look of compliance on Edward's face, and realized he'd be leaving, I felt every bit of hope drain from my soul. And feeling empty like that was far worse than anything I'd ever felt so far.

"No." It was more of a squeak than a whisper and I couldn't recall consciously saying it as I stood there shaking my head.

Emmett spun on his heels. "What is it?"

"Edward's not going. He's done nothing wrong." I gazed into Edward's emerald greens and saw the beacon I needed. "He's staying here."

**It's just a little cliffy (sorry). If you review---Edward will twirl your panties on his finger!**


	8. Chapter 8

**No Author's Note. Just an apology for taking so long.**

**All thing Twilight belong to Stephenie Meyer. Oh, how I wish it were me!**

* * *

I watched from the foyer window as Edward helped Emmett carry his bags to the car.

This was it. This was the end of my marriage; the end of my dreams. All the dreams I I'd known had included Emmett for as far back as I could remember. And now, it would all end on this morning with me watching as he packs his things and drives away.

_Deciding to start a family. Planning the nursery with Esme. Watching as my tummy grew. Sharing the miracle of birth. Loving and caring and nurturing our child together. Spoiling her---or him. Providing Esme and Carlisle with their first grandchild and watching as they'd completely fill the role of grandma and grandpa. _

_Emmett and I growing old together. _

Those were **our **dreams…**our **fallen dreams. Or at least I thought they were.

I watched them talking; two very different individuals in body and soul: brothers. Emmett's shoulders stiff, his face remaining stern. Edward's hands nervously pulling through his hair.

_Were they arguing? Did Emmett question why I wanted Edward to stay? _

I let out the breath I hadn't realized I was holding when Emmett pulled Edward close and appeared to have whispered something in his ear. He jostled his brother into a one armed hug, patting his back hard enough to make Edward's entire body jar.

_Or was he just handing me over, as if I were a consolation prize? _

Nobody ever wanted to think of themselves as a consolation.

But, what exactly did I want?

That was something I probably should not be certain of for a very long time. But looking out that window at the two men loading the bags into the car; I knew exactly which one I wanted back in my home. And it wasn't the man it probably should have been.

I came to my senses with the slam of a door and numbly watched as the exhaust hit the cool air just before Emmett's truck fled out of sight. I didn't know if he looked back longingly---at the house---or at me. I'd have no recollection of tears in his eyes or our last parting glance.

I wasn't watching for it. My eyes were locked onto the ground and the sidewalk leading to the door. I couldn't bring myself to face Emmett's gaze; after all, he wasn't the only guilty party present. And, as much as I knew I carried my fair share of guilt, I couldn't bring myself to stop wanting either.

Once Edward's shoes had entered the area of the walk I'd been focusing on, my eyes traveled north until they landed on his familiar face. Comforting warmth saturated my insides---chasing the chill away. He moved slowly, my brother in law, deep in thought. I enjoyed watching the graceful way his body moved; his fingers as they wrestled amongst themselves in angst until nerves forced them into his hair just before they became hidden in his pockets. I watched as his lips pursed and relaxed in tandem with the furrow of his brow; in response to the evident perplexity of his thoughts.

His foot took that last gait and set itself on the doorstep just between my two socked feet.

Tears streamed down my face; tears of sorrow for lost dreams mixed with the tears of hope inspired by the man before me. Both fueled, I'm sure, by lack of sleep.

I felt alone and cold and scared.

Once Edward's eyes met mine and he reached for me, I couldn't wait another moment to be held in his embrace. I practically lunged at him, wrapping my arms around his neck---my legs around his middle; causing him to loose his footing for just a moment before steadying himself.

His breath on my cheek, he said "Where shall I take you?" as he carried me into the house. His tone was innocent, but his body was sinful and radiated a heat that made me weak with want right to my very core---which happened to be pressed firmly against his center.

My body out willed my brain, causing my lips to respond before I could even transmit

a coherent thought.

"Your bed."

My heart thumped and my pulse pounded a beat I could hear and feel throughout my entire body. The only things louder than the beating of my heart were the raspy breaths escaping my lips.

Edward carried me up the stairs and set me gently on his bed. My fingers clasped tightly onto his shirt, pulling him down with me.

Like a starving wolf, my body ached to devour him more than I'd ever needed anything in my life. Hungry hands moved through his hair, over his chest, pushing their way under to find skin. My mouth found his, my tongue rushing to explore within. Temptation and want, desire and need pushed my body with every breath.

My exhale trembled as I felt Edward harden beneath me. _God, I wanted him. Fuck, I needed him!_

His eyes met mine and our movements became frantic. His hands on my hips, mine on his shoulders. His mouth circled my breast, my tongue ran the length of his jaw. His hips pushed against me, finding friction. _Ooooh!_ S_o much fucking need! _He pushed his mouth to mine, forcing himself inside; kissing deeply and passionately.

My hand inched down… lower, wanting desperately to release him from the confinement of his clothes; the need to feel him taking over.

He pulled from my lips, his breath hot waves across my cheek.

"Bella, I want this, I do. You are the most amazing creature and fuck I just want to feel you---move with you…. But I'm not sure this is a good idea---today---like this."

_Yes! Yes, it is…it's what I want…it's what I need. _"Edward, I want to be with you. My body has ached for your touch …ever since that very first night."

I leaned into his hand, on impulse, as he pressed it to my cheek. He moved his lips back to mine…but it was a very different kiss this time; light, gentle, slow. "I want you to remember this as the day you were strong enough to back Emmett down; not the day you lowered yourself to his level."

_Wait, what? Oh God. He doesn't want this? He… he doesn't want me? _"Oh God. I never even thought…never considered… that maybe…perhaps… you wouldn't want to…"

He took my face gently in his hands. "Oh Bella, I want to---I've wanted to for as long as I can remember. I don't remember a time I didn't want to---make love---to you."

_But he won't. Why? Could he have only been after the chase. Maybe now that my life is in fucking shambles…he doesn't want to…_

"Bella, I remember that first night, but I enjoyed the second night even more. We shared something –something so intimate and so sensual. Do you remember?"

I tried hard to fight back tears until his words rang with truth and I could only nod.

"We could do that again---me and you---without technically doing _anything _we've not done before_._"

_I thought back to that night. I was with Emmett---pretending it were Edward's hands touching me._ "But, how am I supposed to…without …_him_"

His answer was something I'd never before even considered doing in front of a man… ever.

"By touching yourself, Bella." _Oh my God._ "Sweetie, do you think you can do that?"

With anyone else I would never have even considered it.

But I told myself: _ It's for Edward_, _Bella... be brave!_

"I can try." Before I'd even completed the statement, Edward's hands were moving down his torso to the top of his jeans. My eyes were glued to the graceful lengths of his fingertips as he toyed with the button at his waist.

His eyes met mine and all at once his jeans fell to the floor, my entire body smoldering with want and need as he stood before me in only his boxers. My breath caught as he walked to the door and leaned against its frame, just like _that_ night. I could feel warmth radiate through my cheeks, my chest, my belly.

Edward's hand lowered, still, until he cupped himself; hardening instantly. My mouth became dry; although I am sure my lower region was dampening, when I noticed his eyes trail down to my pants. Knowing his intent, my pulse rang a deafening tempo in my ears as my trembling hands slipped inside my waistband.

I found myself; warm and wet. The moment my fingers slid just inside brushing past my sensitive center, "it" began to throb. I may have moaned, softly.

"_I want to see you. I need to see you." _He whispered.

Responding instinctively to Edward's words, my shirt came off. He growled low in his chest.

"_You are so beautiful Bella. Your breasts are magnificent. Would you touch one for me?"_

His words: my muse, his eyes: my guide…my hands slid up my body and two fingers traced a line across my nipple. I exhaled heavily as I felt it harden beneath my fingers.

His eyes focused intently on mine; willing me to keep going. He slipped his hand inside his shorts, sliding it slowly and gently along his entire length; occasionally forcing the tip of his cock out above his waistband. God he looked so fucking hot. I needed more…more **something**.

Before I could register my own movements, somehow my pants were off and on the floor. I slid my hand inside the lace panties for him to see. I wanted to focus on his eyes, pretending mine was his hand. But before I could think of anything else, Edwards boxers were gone leaving him completely nude, and beautiful.

I slowly slipped the panties off, wanting so badly to please him. I intended to let him watch me…watch me do something I'd never have even admitted to before.

"_Show me where you like it, Bella. Where does it feel good?"_

_Ung…Fuck! _

I let my finger glide along my wetness, like I had done many times before but only in complete privacy, until it met my clit. _Mmmm. _

My eyes captivated by Edward's longing stare, I began to relax. Rubbing slow circles around my sensitive center I brought myself to the very brink of orgasm.

Edward's fingers slid rhythmically down his shaft and back up again, occasionally slipping up and over the very tip. My body was moving in tandem with his, even from across the room. As our rhythm began to pick up speed, I so wanted to touch him, to taste him.

"_C'mon baby. It must feel so good. I'd love to see you cum for me."_

"Ohhhhh." So turned on by Edward's words, my hand moved faster in response.

I was getting very close, too close. I'd never actually brought myself to complete orgasm before. And I really didn't want to go there…alone.

"You, too. I want to see you too."

He said something that I was too preoccupied to register, focusing on his hand moving feverishly along his shaft, faster and faster; his fingers tightening more and more with each stroke.

I watched as his body tensed, the muscles in his stomach becoming more pronounced, his gaze growing more intense. I watched Edward as my own fire began to build within me, bringing me closer and closer to ecstasy…until…finally …_oooh_…_ gah …fuck! _

Wave after wave of pleasure and release washed over me in unison with Edward's ejaculatory explosion.

Once we were each able to think and to move, Edward joined me on the bed. Our sweaty bodies pressed together, his mouth nuzzling my neck…my hands tangled in his wild hair…it was absolute heaven. And, as if he'd read my mind, he said _"I'm not going anywhere. I'm here as long as you'll let me stay."_

We kissed until I fell asleep exhausted and tangled in his arms.

It wasn't until several hours later that I woke up. It was a shrill voice, that could only belong to my cousin, Alice, and it was coming from downstairs. I was actually relieved that she wasn't _in_ my bed, speaking directly into my ear, whether I was sleeping or not, as she did so many times over the years.

I threw my sweats and tee back on and jogged down the stairs. I found Alice and Edward in the kitchen talking about me. I stood behind the door for a bit, listening. Edward was filling my cousin in on everything that had happened between Emmett and I. Alice, never having been a huge fan of Emmett's anyway, made sarcastic comments about his lack of intelligence and sexual prowess.

I cleared my throat loudly just as Alice was saying "I was really surprised that it was _Emmett_ Cullen that pursued Bella, after all it was y…"

Her attention turned to me in the doorway.

"Oh, hi sweetie. You okay?"

"Ye…." My eyes went immediately to the third glass of wine on the table, and all the color left my face. I wasn't ready to face anyone else.

"Is someone else here?"

Before either Alice or Edward could answer I heard a familiar voice trailing in from the hall bathroom.

"Is that the crashmaster I hear? Oh, fair yet violent maiden?" The kitchen door opened and Jasper Whitlock walked in. "Ah, indeed it is."

"I am so sorry about last night, Jas…"

He held his hand up an inch or two from my lips. "Don't dream of apologizing Bella of the Ball. If not for you, I would not have gotten the opportunity I was gifted with last night."

"But…I destroyed your bar!" I exclaimed.

"Yes, fair Juliet, but you also inspired a new promotional night at my establishment, which I hope will inspire the fine folk of Forks to come, partake in libations, break bread…and perhaps a dish or two, as well. But, more importantly, you and your Romeo set the stage for the Lovely Miss Alice to grace my establishment." Jasper winked at my cousin before pulling my bag from behind his back and handing it to me. "And for that, my dear, I offer you my most sincere gratitude."

I looked at Alice. Her eyes were glued to Whitlock and a sweet little grin brightened her whole face. I'd not seen her that happy since….well…since that day senior year when she thought Whitlost was finally going to talk to her. Hmm…I'd forgotten all about her infatuation with him. She'd never actually spoken of it---but I could always tell.

**Okay---Some of y'all had mentioned wanting to get to know this Alice better and to see more of Whitlost. Obviously---a bit of that will come.**


	9. Chapter 9

**Thank you to manyafandom for telling me to wear my bad reviews last chapter like a badge of honor---because it meant the readers were invested in my story. Those were words I'd needed to hear from someone whose opinion I respect!**

**Speaking of manyafandom, don't forget to vote for your favorite For My Valentine contest entry. I have an entry in there…think you can figure out which one is mine?? www(dot)fanfiction(dot)net/u/2202214/ForMyValentineTwilight**

**Everything Twilight belongs to Stephenie Meyer. I just play with her characters.**

~~*~~

I've always loved my cousin, Alice. And Jasper Whitlock was nothing less than entertaining. I really was pleased that they seemed to have found one another. And it was even more special that they had come together, in a way, because of me. But I also felt a tremendous wave of relief as I watched them leave. So much had happened within the past 24 hours. My head was spinning and there was one thing, in particular, that weighed heavily on my mind. Rosalie Hale. She was the one truly innocent victim in the whole screwed up mess. I needed her to know that I appreciated the loyalty she'd shown. She had more strength and character than I would ever know.

Edward didn't seem thrilled about the idea of me going to Rosalie's apartment, but he offered to go with me anyway. In fact, he'd seemed somewhat odd ever since he and Jasper had come in from the backyard. Heaven only knows what they could have been talking about. Regardless, I felt indebted to Rosalie Hale and I needed to thank her. I had never really considered her a friend. Actually, I'd never really considered her at all. Yet, she held me in high enough regard to respect my marriage even when my husband didn't. That deserved thanks...in person...as soon as possible.

I watched Edward from the corner of my eye the entire way across town. His eyes were glued on the road and he appeared completely normal. Yet, about every fifty or so yards, his hands would move north and wrestle maniacally with his hair. And every few minutes he'd sigh deeply and loudly.

"I don't understand what could possibly be so bad about thanking Rosalie. She certainly deserves it." I said.

"I totally agree, Bella. But does it have to be tonight? You've already had such an emotional day."

"That's exactly why I need to do it now. If I wait, life will get in the way. Days will turn to weeks, weeks to months. And then it'll just be awkward. Nope, I need to do it now." I had decided.

Edward nodded, but I could tell it wasn't in agreement. I knew that for sure as soon as the heavy sighing resumed.

I had to admit, I did get a bit nervous once we pulled onto Rosalie's street and parked across from her building. Edward took my hand as we crossed the street... It felt strange to hold someone's hand other than Emmett's, not that Emmett had ever held my hand to cross the street in all the time we'd been married. But we were right out in public and Forks was a small town. Word always spread quickly among the locals. But, then again, I figured our dirty secret would be out soon enough with Emmett moving back in with his parents. I found myself squeezing Edward's hand, and watched as a faint smile appeared on his lips. I truly did appreciate the support he was showing me. And I loved the comfort of his hand in mine.

We rode the elevator up in silence and walked to the end of the hall to Rosalie's door. We just stood there. I wanted to knock. I wanted to speak to her. But suddenly I got really nervous. Finally I took a deep breath before striking the door several times.

I heard the lock turn and my throat got dry. My stomach did a somersault and I suddenly couldn't think of any words that could possible relay the message I needed to convey. The door opened a crack and Rosalie's face appeared. I took a deep breath. I opened my mouth to speak, but Rosalie spoke first.

"Bella? Um…hi. Wow. You two…I figured you'd be…umm…why are you here?"

I knew I needed to say something, so I focused on the floorboards in Rosalie's hallway and opened my mouth. Then, as if I'd been rehearsing all day, the perfect words just came. "Rose, I'm sorry for coming unannounced, but I just really needed to thank you in person for…"

Except then I was interrupted...by Emmett. "Who is it, Babe? Aw hell, who cares? Just get rid of 'em." His voice rang out from inside Rosalie Hale's home.

My insides twisted. My stomach wretched. Then, I looked up to find him standing behind Rosalie, in nothing but a towel. There was no denying it then. It was there, it was in my face, and I'd been such a fool.

And in that split second, that tiny fragment of time, I decided I was not going to be a fool anymore. I was not going to continue to be _Bella Cullen who made all the correct choices_... or _Bella Cullen who made sure everyone else was happy_. And I remembered the mantra I had repeated to myself in front of the mirror daily for months up until the moment Edward Cullen had stepped inside my door. "_I have a kind and beautiful heart therefore I deserve a happy life_."

And that is when I did something completely unplanned...completely impulsive...completely inappropriate. I wrapped my arms around Edward and I kissed him...I mean really kissed him. And I didn't care who saw me. I didn't do it out of anger or pain. I didn't do it to hurt Emmett. I did it because I wanted to...I needed to. And for me, in a way, it was my own personal emancipation. And it was wonderful! I realized I had already grown to love Edward Cullen. Or maybe I always had. But at that moment, in his arms, kissing him with passionately, absolutely nothing else in the whole world mattered. Well, until Emmett's fist put a hole in Rosalie's door.

"What the fuck?" He bellowed, his eyes filled with rage, and I thought for sure Edward's face would be his next target.

Everything was silent for a moment, except for the heaviness of our breaths. Emmett seethed. Edward's body was tense, his fists clenched and ready. I busily searched for words to put Emmett in his place without sounding as if I were defending my actions. I no longer felt the need to defend myself to him. But it was Rosalie's voice that cut the tension in that hallway like a well-sharpened knife.

"Emmett Cullen, if you so much as raise your voice again...let alone your fist, you can leave my home and never ever return." Rosalie's face was serious and her voice was stern.

Emmett froze, staring back at her.

"I am serious!" She added.

Then his body relaxed and his gaze softened…all in response to Rosalie's words. If I hadn't been so completely shocked by his reaction, I may have felt a bit hurt that _my _words had never made such an impact on him.

With an unfamiliar softness to his voice, Emmett spoke to Rosalie. "She didn't have to flaunt kissing him in my face. Does she think I've been blind?"

Rose's words were calm. "No, but neither is she. And considering the show she got here when you walked out from the shower, what was she supposed to assume?"

Emmett continued to speak in that soft voice, as if they were the only two people standing in that hall. "But nothing's going on between you and me. She just expected the worst from me...and from you, too. And here you were just being kind enough to let me shower and change my clothes." He sounded sincere...especially for Emmett.

Rose spoke up. "Well, I think those are things you need to be saying to your wife---not to me." Rosalie grabbed her bag from a small table near the door. "C'mon Edward. Bella and Emmett need to work things out amongst themselves."

It was the first time I'd looked at Edward since I'd practically mauled him moments before. His eyes were wide and concerned. He gave my hand a squeeze. "You okay?" he asked.

I nodded. I knew it really was necessary, talking to Emmett, although I wasn't looking forward to it. Then Edward turned to his brother and the looks on both their faces became territorial and protective and frightening.

Rosalie glared at Emmett, as if in warning, and spoke. "Edward and I are going to Starbucks for coffee. When the two of you have your...shit... figured out, call us." She hooked her arm around Edward's elbow and led him down the hall toward the elevator. Edward kept looking back at us, warily, over his shoulder. Rosalie turned back only once, as she was stepping into the elevator. "You should know, Bella, I just found him asleep in his truck outside my building earlier today. I agreed to let him shower here before he had to face his parents, but that is all. You have my word."

Her word was enough.

And I suddenly felt pretty bad for the display I'd forced them both to endure.

I stood there in the doorway with my husband for a long time. Neither of us said a word. The air was thick and full of tension.

Finally, Emmett spoke. "I don't know what to say."

With more attitude than I'd intended, I said "Starting with the truth is always good. You might want to try that."

"Bella, I'm sorry. Shit, I am so damn sorry. It was never supposed to be like this. I wanted so much to make you happy."

Still stunned by his insinuating words to Rosalie, I asked "How long have you known?"

He motioned for me to follow him inside. I did, settling on the far end of Rosalie's sofa. Emmett remained standing... pacing.

"That my little brother was in love with you? Since before I even knew who you were."

His eyes told me he wasn't ready to talk about the feelings I might have for Edward.

I allowed him that, although I was curious. I hadn't fully realized the depth of my own feelings for Edward until the moment I kissed him in the hallway.

"Then why, Em?"

He breathed in deeply and let it out slow. His fingers clenched and I was surprised he actually raised his eyes to meet mine. His jaw was strained and every few seconds I could see a sort of tick there. "I was young and I was scared and I was stupid. I thought I was going to lose everything. Mrs. Hale convinced me she could cost me everything."

He paused there. I felt he thought I would say something. I didn't.

"I was selfish. She told me she'd heard you liked me. So, I did what was easiest for me at the time. My head was not straight. I was a confused kid…and I only cared about myself. I know it was horrible. It cost me everything...Rose...my brother...and now you."

Even though I wasn't saying anything I hadn't worked over and over in my mind a hundred times in the past 24 hours, saying it aloud caused my voice to tremble.

" Em, you don't want me. I'm not sure you ever really did."

"Don't think that Bella. Please, don't think that. Not for a damn second. I loved you! I did. I do." He knelt down directly in front of me and took my hand. "Going in I thought you'd just serve as a good distraction. Get me through senior year. Then, I'd be leaving for college and Edward would have gotten to know you---he'd always been so shy around girls. I thought, hell, maybe I'd even be helping him out in a way. It's funny how you can make anything sound good when you're desperate. But then I got to know you. And you were so kind and innocent. I was able to laugh again with you. And Bella, as much as I'd been crazy for Rose, I was happy with you….really happy. I thought I was over it all. I thought I'd moved on."

His eyes pleaded with me in a way that made me want to believe him.

"Then, when we moved back here, and I saw Rose again...everything got stirred up, all the old feelings. But I swear, Bella---for all it's worth---nothing has gone on between Rose and I---nothing!"

I nodded. I believed that was true---mostly because of Rosalie.

"I wanted our marriage to work...I promise I did, Bella. I tried---I guess I didn't try hard enough."

He kept pausing like he was waiting for me to say something. But I didn't. I couldn't. I guess deep down I knew that Emmett may have tried harder than me. He warded off urges for over a year. I hadn't managed too well during the few weeks Edward had been home.

"Then, when Edward came back, Bella, the minute he looked at you, I knew that look in his eyes. He'd never gotten over you. I guess that's why I rode him so hard about women at first. I guess I wanted to hear something to prove my assumption was wrong. And then you gradually became comfortable with him, too. Then, when you ran out the other night and he ran after you to Whitlock's…and when I saw you in the kitchen the next morning, I knew it was more than friendship. Bella, you had not smiled, let alone laughed, in our home in a long time. He could make you laugh. Edward could do that for you, not me. I hadn't been able to make you smile in a long, long time."

I felt guilty for lashing out at him for being dishonest. I had been a total hypocrite. "I shouldn't have said that." I told him. "I'm sorry. I haven't exactly been completely honest either."

"Do you ...you know...?" He asked, unable to get the words out.

"I admire him." I watched Emmett's face for that anger I knew he was capable of, but I didn't find it. Instead, he appeared tired and worn down. And, in a way, he almost looked relieved. So I continued. "I am completely comfortable with Edward. And I always find myself looking forward to the next time I'll see him, even when he has only just left the room."

"He's a good guy, ya know. He deserves someone like you." He said sincerely.

"Rosalie is a lovely person, inside and out. She..."

Emmett interrupted "She doesn't deserve me."

We both laughed and he gave my hand a squeeze. That's when tears began to stream down my cheeks and I saw that my big strong husband was crying, too.

Emmett was right...having proven to be far more intuitive than I'd have ever given him credit. He moved to sit next to me on the couch and wrapped his arm around my shoulders. I instinctively curved into his embrace. Then, when we couldn't cry anymore, we both sat quietly for a very long time. Puzzled by the hand life had dealt us, we each tried to make sense of the directions in which our lives were suddenly heading.

"So, now what? Emmett, where does that leave us now?"

"That's what I spent all my time thinking about while I was driving around. I sat in that truck and ran all the scenarios through my mind. Fuck, Bella. This is so not where I ever pictured us." He squeezed me tight, and tears filled his eyes again. His voice not more than a whisper, he said, "I guess we have two choices." A sob escaped my chest. I knew what he was going to say.

"We can work for our marriage...but we both know it won't be easy to get back to where we need to be...if even possible. And we'd probably always wonder what life could have been like."

Unable to speak, I nodded against his chest.

"Or, we can both agree to cut our losses and move on...civilly, of course."

The heaviness in my chest began to rise and forced with it a million tears. Emmett held me tightly and together we sobbed. We sobbed for us. We sobbed for those we'd hurt. We sobbed for everything we'd been through. And we sobbed for what would never be."

After a long time, I did my best to dry my swollen eyes. "Esme and Carlisle don't know yet?" I asked.

"No. I didn't know what to say." Emmett's voice cracked and I knew that finding the words to tell his parents was going to be really difficult for him.

I put my hand on his cheek and said "Then I guess we'll need to head over there and figure out what to say...together."

**Sorry for the heartache this chapter. It had to happen. I know not everyone will be happy. But, at least now things can begin to move forward.**

**Now, hurry—run—review! **

**Reviewers get to meet Edward at Starbucks for a latte! **


	10. Chapter 10

**Thanks for waiting for this. I must have started it a hundred times. It was a hard one to write. Anyway, this should lead us to what we have all been waiting for! I know I'd said there'd only be one chapter left each---but I will be adding one additional ODP chapter....then the epi. Hope that's okay with everyone. I may also have one more Whitlost outtake---if you all want it---just ask. **

**I have also been working on a Bella/Jasper fic since before Xmas. Currently nameless, it takes place in 1970 and involves a very different Jasper and Bella. Hopefully you'll enjoy traveling with them a bit as they each find their way. Once I have it completely finished I'll begin posting chapters once a week. Hopefully it'll have a name by my Other Side of the Door Ch11 update.**

**Stephenie Meyer owns everything Twilight. I own nothing but a house I'm buried in, a van that breaks down and two very large dogs!**

I sat next to Emmett in his truck. Breathing deeply, I noticed the faint smell of his vanilla air freshener mixed with the scent of stale coffee coming from the old Starbucks cup in his console. This aroma was so Emmett, but I'm not sure I'd ever noticed it before…or paid it any attention. But this time I did. Good or bad, this was more than likely the last time I'd be riding in his truck. The Black Eyed Peas were on his stereo. Emmett had one hand on the gear shift and one draped over the wheel, as he always did…as far back as I can remember. Everything was...as always. Yet everything was different.

I'd ridden with him in that truck…our truck (since I'd written every check for every payment since he'd picked it out just over a year ago) a million times. Yet, I felt like a stranger. It was as if I didn't belong in that seat next to him anymore. It no longer felt like my place. And that left me with a very odd feeling.

It wasn't sad, or painful, or even angry. It was numb.** I **was numb. Which left me wondering if I would suddenly wake up sometime, when I least expected it, and the excruciating pain would hit me. Would I be pushing my cart in the grocery, or stopped at a red light? Would my world crumble as I was making breakfast or reading the morning paper? Would things like seeing couples holding hands or watching a love story on television bring me to tears? Because at that moment, as I sat in that truck beside Emmett with my marriage basically over, I felt nothing. Actually I did feel something. Tired.

I looked at Emmett out of the corner of my eye. His dimples showing though he wasn't smiling, his thumb tapping out the rhythm to whatever was coming from the radio, his head bouncing to the beat; it was just like the first time I'd ever gotten into a vehicle with a boy. His eyes scanned the road carefully. I remembered being impressed by that at sixteen. One arm always draped the seat behind me. I'd always thought he did that just for me…because he loved me. Looking up at his arm now wrapped around my headrest, I questioned if perhaps it had always just been a comfortable position.

We pulled onto Esme and Carlisle's street. As we approached their home, I looked past the fence that surrounded the property, past the large cherry tree in the front yard, past the birdbath currently occupied by a few sparrows. I stared at the large white door awaiting me. I'd always found such joy just inside that door. But this time, it would be different. The truck slid to a stop in front of the Cullen home I noticed the tick in Emmet's jaw had returned. This was going to be one of the most difficult things he'd ever done...I'd ever done. And, though I made it sound like I was doing it for him, Emmett was not the reason I'd accompanied him here. I came because I owed it to Esme and Carlise.

At least Emmett and I had a few days to digest the inevitable. But Carlisle and Esme were going to be completely blindsided. Although I'd not have thought it possible, an even larger feeling of dread came over me. They had always been so good to me. In situations that my mom did not step up, Esme was always by my side. She helped me plan the wedding. She shopped with me for my dress and accompanied me to every fitting. Esme was the guidance I needed when planning my registry. I smiled sadly, remembering how I'd had to jog just to keep up with her as she skirted through every department of Meyer's armed with the registry scanning gun like a storm trooper on a mission. "Bella, blue or yellow?" she'd asked. Or "Fiesta ware is more practical than china." She'd suggested. I giggled remembering her words as she'd shoved a tube of plastic tumblers in my hand. "I realize you don't have children of your own yet, but you will have one of mine so you need these." She always knew exactly what I needed and she had impeccable taste. She patiently and diligently helped me unpack and set up our home. Having moved around so much as a kid, I'd never really had any place that actually felt like home. Every holiday spent with the Cullens was filled with love and laughter and warmth. They'd been my family since high school. God, I was going to miss them. Tears again filled my eyes as quickly as I could wipe them away. And then another thought skimmed my brain. What if I didn't have to lose them? What if Edward and I really were…..? Oh, how would I ever explain that?!

I jolted, sprung from my thoughts just in time as Emmett opened my passenger door. Apparently we both had been sitting there in that truck at the curb consumed by our own minds for some time. But now Carlise and Esme were standing in the doorway to their home smiling, waiting for us to make our way to them, probably expecting joyous news or something. I had no idea where we would start, or who would speak first, or what we would say. As I looked at Emmett wringing his hands, looking the most nervous I'd ever seen him, I was relieved to know for certain that his parents would be getting the whole truth because I was there.

I slid my sunglasses over my eyes and noticed that Emmett had put his on, too. We walked together up the sidewalk. A few times, I got the feeling he was trying to slip behind me; perhaps his attempt at forcing me to take the lead. Instead I made certain we were in this together, as I was already being kinder than I probably should, and I remained next to him.

Esme was smiling, almost giddy as we edged closer. Before we were half way up the walk she was practically bouncing.

"I am so glad you both are here. I have a little surprise for you. I'll be right back!"

I looked at Emmett whose eyes were glued to the stone walk. I glanced at Carlisle who was smiling too. He shrugged. "You know Esme."

As we stepped into the foyer she returned, holding something behind her back. "Close your eyes!" she demanded.

"Mom..." Emmett started.

"I know, you're too old for such games, but humor me, okay?"

"Mom, no..." he continued.

"Emmett, just humor your mother!" Carlisle insisted.

Being that we both still had our sunglasses on, we watched as she pulled a large picture frame from behind her back. When she turned it around I could see a mint green background with "Bella" painted on it in careful beige strokes. Before either of us could speak, Esme shared "We had a leak. It was minor. But we did have to replace the stairs. When we started working on it, I just couldn't bring myself to throw this piece away. So I had it matted and framed for you." She winked at Emmett who looked completely confused.

"Cute Mom. You painted Bella's name for her. Wow, that looks like the old green paint that was there when we were in high school."

"No silly." she replied. "I can't believe you don't remember doing this."

I took the piece in my hands, rubbing my fingers over each letter. This was Edward. It was his handiwork all those years ago; pining for a girl who would marry his brother. My heart ached for him and I knew, for him, the truth must come out.

That's when I chose to remove my sunglasses. Esme took one look at me and panicked.

"Bella! What's wrong? Here I was going on and on and something is wrong."

She reached up and removed Emmett's glasses, too, noticing his equally swollen eyes.

She and Carlisle looked back and forth from one another to us, before Esme blurted "Edward! Is something wrong with Edward?"

"No, Mom. Nothing is wrong with Edward. He's just fucking great!" Emmett practically yelled.

I'm not sure whose eyes were wider in response to his words, mine or Esme's.

Carlisle's, however, narrowed into angry slits. "Emmett! You will NOT speak to your mother that way!" he boomed.

The room fell into tense silence for a moment until Esme interrupted. "Obviously something is very wrong. Someone please tell us what is going on?"

Emmett grabbed the frame from my fingers and held it out to his mother. He shouted "This! This is what's wrong! I didn't paint that for Bella!" I could tell he was shouting out of frustration. He was tired of living the lie.

Esme shook her head. "What? I don't understand."

"I didn't paint the picture. I didn't carve the tree out back... I'm sure you've found that , too. I didn't do any of those things. And Bella and I ...we're getting divorced!"

Impulsively, I smacked him hard on the arm. His behavior was uncalled for. That was a brutal way break the news to his parents...especially his mother. It was almost as if he were punishing her for something.

Although, I had to admit, I was impressed that Emmett actually had the cajones to say the words out loud...himself. I had figured I would have to tell them.

"Let's all sit down and sort this out." Carlisle said. He had always been the family's voice of reason. Carlisle wrapped his arms around his wife's shoulders and guided us all in to the dining room. Emmett's dad took his seat at the head of the table and Esme sat beside him. Emmett turned the chair on the far end of the table around and sat in it, leaning on the chair back to support his folded arms. I remained standing, pacing actually. I hated what we were doing and I was too nervous to sit.

"Emmett, please start at the beginning." Emmett looked at me for help. But I just raised my eyebrows as to reiterate his father's request and offered nothing.

So Emmett started at the very beginning. Not the beginning a few nights ago when the truth came out or even a few weeks ago when Edward first arrived. He didn't even start at the beginning when we moved back to Forks and he hired Rosalie. Nope, Emmett took his parents all the way back to high school. I guess he knew the only way to get any pity from them would be by including the part about Mrs. Hale's interference and threats. Carlisle's eyes narrowed as he learned how his son had been manipulated. Esme's eyes darted to me when her son spoke of loving another. As Emmett moved to the part about Edward confiding in him about his feeling for me way back in school, I saw realization fall upon his mother's face. She looked at the painting I set on the table and all the color fled from her cheeks. I knew she must have realized, as I had, who exactly painted my name all those years ago. Emmett revealed his undying feelings for Rose along with the sort of bond Edward and I had formed in the few weeks he'd been here.

"I...just...excuse me." Esme sobbed as she fled to the kitchen . I waited a moment, and followed her into the kitchen. She was leaning her elbows on the counter, her head in her hands.

"Esme, I am so sorry." I said from the doorway, unsure if my presence was still welcome.

Slowly she raised her face to look at me. "No, Bella. I am the one to be sorry. This is largely my fault."

"No" I tried to say, but she spoke right over me.

"I just assumed it was Emmett. I never even considered that my other son might be in love." She walked across the kitchen to the large windows that overlooked their large backyard. "Oh, my poor Edward. How will I ever apologize enough to him?" she cried.

I moved to her, wrapping my arms around her shoulders. "You don't have to Esme. Edward is so kind and understanding...and he loves you so much..."

"And you, Bella. He loved you!"

"I know." She turned to me, her eyes wide. I added "He told me."

"Now what?" she asked. "What happens now?"

"Well, we just take one day at a time." I told her as I rested my cheek against her back. "And if that doesn't work, we can always let Jerry Springer sort it out."

I felt her body buckle, and at first I thought she was sobbing harder. But then I realized...she was laughing. She squeezed my hand tightly and we both laughed for a moment. Then we just stood in silence together, letting it all settle in, staring out into the back yard. After a few minutes, she asked me "Bella, do you love my son?"

Before I could answer, and much to my relief because I didn't even know which of her sons she was referring to, we were interrupted by Edward's voice coming from the next room.

"Where is she?" he yelled. "Tell me where the fuck she is, Emmett!" I was fairly certain he'd never spoken to his brother or possibly anyone in such a lethal tone before.

"Edward?" I felt his name vibrate from inside Esme as she called for him.

The next moment the door swung open and Edward was there, in the kitchen. His hair was completely mussed, undoubtedly from hours of raking his fingers through it. His cheeks were pale and his hands were shaking. Without thinking of where I was or who was watching, I ran to him. He caught me in his embrace and held me there, my face buried in the crevice between his shoulder and his jaw until we both stopped shaking. He trailed kisses from my fore head, down my nose, to my lips and my chin, before suddenly realizing where we were. Edward turned to his mother with a look of shock and guilt, although he never let go of me. He held onto me tightly, almost predatorily, as if afraid to let me go. And I felt safe there, in his arms, no matter what.

**Believe it or not, there are still people not reading Other Side of the Door. It is Edward's point of view of this story. I do my best to make Edward's perspective very different from Bella's. Some actually prefer EPOV. So if you've not read Other Side of the Door, you may want to read it.**

**I'd love to know what you think. Reviewers get to smack Emmett**** ---wherever you like! Also let me know if you'd like a Whitlost outtake.**


	11. Chapter 11

**Thank you to EmilyDmamaof3 for reading and rereading for me, offering advice when I asked; never once rambling. ::wink::**

**All things Twilight belong to Stephenie Meyer. I only borrowed her characters, hopefully doing them justice. And this time, I may have borrowed a line or two.**

I startled to the sound of the phone as it rang out suddenly in the darkness. I was already awake, mostly. I'd been having trouble falling asleep with Edward next to me. For the past several weeks, I'd become very aware of him...in bed. The rhythm of his breathing, the rise and fall of his chest. The way his bottom lip puckered just a little as he dozed off. The wrinkle of his forehead as he dreamt. The guttural sounds he sometimes made in his dreams. The occasional sound of my name from his lips as he spoke it in his sleep. The way his body always reacted in synch with his saying my name, leaving him hard and alert...and pointing at me.. Every time, I'd stir with desire and toss and turn all night.

So many times I'd wanted to wake him; to play out whatever fantasy he dreamt of. But I was afraid I'd not waited long enough; unsure if the proper amount of time had passed since Emmett left. So, I'd lay there, night after night unable to sleep. And when I finally did drift off, I always found myself dreaming of Edward and I in some incredibly provocative and sensually satisfying act. Each night, I'd ultimately wake up terribly hot and horribly bothered, with no chance of being sated...or going back to sleep.

Such was the case when the phone had rang. I'd been awake, frustrated and staring at the ceiling. So, I was able to answer on the first ring and keep it from waking Edward.

"Bella, I've been thinking…" It was my cousin Alice. I hopped out of bed, held the phone to my ear and headed down the steps, settling in the kitchen.

"…you have got to let go of the past so that you can have a future. Like, imagine if I hadn't listened to you and dumped Jacob Black's pitiful car-obsessed ass. I may have been out at his garage the night Jasper called and I could have totally missed out on the opportunity to be with someone who's perfect for me."

"Alice, what are you doing up so early? You don't have to go to work for hours."

"I have no idea. I sat straight up in bed this morning and knew I needed to call you. Bella, you have to sign those damn papers...TODAY!"

"Alice, it's too early…I don't…" I stammered.

"Bella!" She yelled. "Stop. Prolonging. Your own. Agony."

I rolled my eyes, wondering which infomercial she'd picked that line up from. Probably one for some exercise machine or diet pill or hair loss remedy. No---Extenze! I laughed to myself.

Then she repeated the words.

"Bella...Stop. Prolonging. Your own. Agony."

And the words made sense. That was exactly what I had been doing. For the entire two months since I'd left Emmett's dishonest ass at his parents' house, I'd been stagnant. I'd not changed anything. I'd not moved on. I'd not moved out of the guestroom. I'd even put the possibility of having any sort of physical relationship with Edward on hold. Even when the envelope that could only have held a divorce agreement had come in the mail two weeks ago, I pushed it aside. Refused to open it. I hadn't realized how unwilling I'd been to move forward; how much I was punishing myself. And, in turn, without intending to, I was also punishing Edward.

Then Alice said those five words.

I repeated them "Stop. Prolonging. Your own. Agony." and I started to cry.

"That statement is supposed to empower you, not reduce you to tears!" my cousin said, yelling.

"It did. I'm crying because….I know what I need to do now. And I even think I might ready."

With that I turned to spy the large yellow envelope tucked behind the napkin holder on the counter where I'd left it. I pulled it out and slipped a finger under the seal. As the adhesive loosened and released, a thick fold of papers was revealed. I smoothed them to discover a ton of legal mumbo jumbo. I moved past the parts about the dissolution of the marriage, swallowed hard at the section that mentioned no dependent children, and focused my attention on the portion that listed the distribution of joint property.

I read through it once. Both sentences.

**All marital property including the home at 1314 Volturri Lane is to become the possession of Isabella Swan Cullen.**

**All marital monetary assets are to become the property of Isabel Swan Cullen with the exception of an amount up to but not to exceed $5000 with which Emmett Cullen is to acquire an alternate place of residence. **

I read it aloud to Alice to see if she interpreted the words the same way as I did. I could hear her saying "Mmhmm...good...really?!" as I read.

"Alice, can that be right? Is he leaving me...with everything?"

"Except for enough money to get him into a bachelor pad. Which, quite honestly, I don't think he even fucking deserves."

"Oh, Al, I can't agree to that. He's always brought more money to the marriage. And he worked hard. It's not fair. I wouldn't feel right."

"Fair! Bella, nothing about Emmett Cullen has ever been fair for you. Was it fair that your entire relationship was all a big charade he orchestrated from the start? Was it fair that he blindsided his brother and went after you when he was very much in love with someone else? Was it fair that he wasted too many years of your life? This is the one and only decent thing Emmett Cullen has done your entire marriage. You have to let him follow through. You can't take that away from him. Let him walk away clean. THAT is only fair." She said it very convincingly ad very maturely, especially for Alice. Then she demanded "Now go get a damn pen."

I did. But when I touched it's point to the paper, I was SO nervous and scared. I knew once I started there would be no turning back. Then I thought of Edward, asleep in the guestroom…in the bed we'd been sharing since Emmett had moved out. Edward, who I'd not felt comfortable moving forward with until I'd properly handled all my old baggage. Edward, the man who'd truly loved me since he was a teenager. The one man who'd never lied to me. The man who stuck with me even when it meant disrupting his family.

Then, I found myself reciting my old mantra: "_I have a kind and beautiful heart, therefore I deserve a happy life_." It was true. I'd always had trouble really believing it because I was so unhappy in my marriage which seemed to have been perfect at the time. I thought I must be selfish and ungrateful. Now, looking back, I knew I could never have possibly been happy married to a man who loved someone else. With Emmett, I was doomed.

I did deserve a happy life, dammit.

And just like that, I signed the papers. Alice knew right away when I'd finished, because I started giggling uncontrollably. It was absolutely liberating. I felt so free. Alice was giggling right along with me and she insisted that ,since it was too early for a drink at Whitlock's, we must go for coffee to celebrate.

When we hung up, I went back upstairs to get dressed. I got sidetracked watching Edward sleep. How I longed for the day I'd feel comfortable sliding in beside him, tracing the outline of his shoulders with a gentle touch, dusting his neck with light kisses, stroking him softly until he awoke with a sexy smile. But, that was not going to happen. Not yet.

However, I had taken the first step toward my future...our future. And it was time to celebrate.

I found Alice sitting in a tiny booth at the back of the room, totally engrossed in her netbook. She was already sipping from a vente caramel macchiato, so I headed straight to the counter. A young man waited on me. He couldn't have been more than seventeen. He was polite enough and very efficient. But what caught my eye was his nametag: "Eddie". My thoughts went immediately to Edward, of course, and I smiled. I couldn't ever imagine anyone calling _him_ "Eddie". I wondered if his family had called him that when he was little, although I doubted it. He was such a cute little guy back then. He had a head full of wild reddish waves that sparkled in the sunlight. And his eyes on a toddler were just mesmerizing. I'd recalled a photo I had often studied on the wall above Esme and Carlisle's staircase. It was one among many, but it always caught my attention. Edward couldn't have been more than six years old. He was standing in a meadow full of wildflowers gently holding a butterfly toward the camera. It had landed on Edward's tiny hand. A puzzled look of astonishment and pride was evident on his face; he obviously feeling thrilled and privileged that the insect had chosen him to trust.

I joined Alice with a cinnamon dulce latte of my own and a couple of scones. After all, it was a celebration!

It took a moment for Alice to look up from what she was doing and even acknowledge me.

"What's got you so absorbed over there? Are you reading that fan made smut again?"

"No. But don't knock it til you've tried it. Some of those stories are very well-written, not to mention pretty hard-core." She winked at me. Like I needed anything else to get me all worked up! "Actually, I am looking at pubs in London."

"England? Isn't that awfully far to go for a beer? Especially when your boyfriend owns his own bar right here in Forks?" My heart sank into the pit of my stomach.

"Jasper has been going on and on lately about how much fun it would be to own a pub on the South Bank of the Thames. That's in the heart of the Pub Crawls. It's just a dream of his, that's all."

I worked hard to speak around the formidable lump that had developed in my throat. How would he be able to do that? He has a bar to run here."

"Oh, Laurent could run the bar here, or he'd sell it. It is prime property on a main street, and Greek night has really taken off."

The thought of the only family I could count on suddenly being a million miles brought about tears I fought hard to hide. "And you're thinking about...moving? With Jasper? Out of the country?"

"Oh, we're not doing anything anytime soon...if at all. He's just talking. And I'm surely not quitting my job and hauling my cookies to some far-off place that requires a passport until there is something large and shiny on my ring finger."

Filled with relief, I pulled myself together. "He should talk to Edward. I bet he'd be full of information. He loved London"

"Jasper says they've talked about it a lot. You know ...bullshitting about what ifs. Hey wouldn't it be cool if we could all go. A joint venture. Start over in a foreign place?"

Then Alice changed the subject before I even had the chance to answer. She did that often---at the drop of a hat. Sometimes it was hard to keep up.

"So, did you bring the papers? I want to see for myself." she asked.

"No, I didn't. But I did fax them back to the attorney's office this morning, before I chickened out. So, my divorce is officially in motion." Alice came around to my side of the booth and wrapped her arms around my neck.

"I am SO proud of you, Bella! And, just think. Now that you're in the process of a divorce and it's official and all...there is no reason for you and Edward not to be getting it on!"

I felt my face turning ten shades of red. Not that it surprised me to hear Alice say such a thing. I'd have been more surprised if she hadn't. But, I'd never had sex with anyone other than my soon to be ex-husband. And I guess, it made me a little prudish.

"Alice! I mean...I'm not even sure he wants to."

My cousin's eyes got really wide. "Oh, believe me, he wants to!"

I was horrified. "Why, what did he tell Jasper?"

"Nothing, that I know of..."she replied. "He doesn't have to say anything. It's totally in the way he looks at you." She smirked, making her eyebrows bounce. "That man has a massive boner with your name on it. You got on the pill last month, like I told you...right??"

Turning redder still, if that was even possible, I said "Yes... but I wouldn't even know how to approach him or what to say."

"Bella, you don't need to say anything. Just use your female birthright. Body language." She gave me the advice in a very matter-of fact way, as if I was naturally supposed to know how to do that. Then she added "And if that doesn't work, just start taking off your clothes."

I laughed nervously. "You can't be serious!

She shrugged nonchalantly. "Always works for me."

I laughed to myself as I unlocked my front door, thinking of Alice's sex strategy. The sad part was I knew she wasn't exaggerating. It was totally something Alice would do. Me, on the other hand, no way!

I locked the deadbolt on my way in, just in case. I'd been doing it a lot lately, in hopes that Edward and I might need a little reassured privacy. But that never happened. I wasn't sure if he was giving me what he thought I needed…more time, or if he had just lost interest. I even considered unlocking the door, as a way to perhaps break the streak. But I didn't. Alice had given me quite the pep talk. Maybe it was in the cards for us now. After all, I did deserve to celebrate…I'd signed the papers that would allow me to move on. And just thinking of Edward, the way he was as he dreamt last night...his erection poking me, I was absolutely in the mood.

The moment I neared the kitchen I could smell sunshine and spice and musk, the scent of Edward's shower soap. Mmmm. I loved the clean aroma I knew would assure damp hair and water glistened skin.

I found him sitting at the kitchen table and I handed him the coffee I'd brought him. I knew we were out, evident by the glass of freshly poured juice on the table. He kissed my forehead as I handed it to him. He was always doing things like that; little gestures that made me feel special.

"Sleep well?" He asked.

God, he looked so good standing there in his jeans, his shirtless chest way too damn tempting. I just wanted to…to…taste him._ Jeez, Bella!_

I shook off my thoughts and answered him. "No, actually. I didn't." Just thinking about the reason I couldn't sleep…the thoughts of him that kept me awake, I couldn't hold back my smile. "But I'm hoping I will tonight for the first time in a while."

"That's fantastic. I'm curious though. What has brought on this new outlook?"

Oh my god! If he didn't put a shirt on soon, I wouldn't be able to refrain from showing him exactly what kind of thoughts had brought about my smile as I threw him down right here on the kitchen table. "I guess I just needed to put things into perspective."

"Alice help with that?" he asked.

"A little." I giggled to myself. "She called this morning and insisted that I stop prolonging my own agony. The she insisted we meet for coffee to celebrate."

He raised his eyebrows in curiosity. "Celebrate?"

Oh my gosh! He didn't know. I had figured he'd notice the open envelope and check it out.

I walked around Edward on my way to the counter to grab the envelope. Unable to resist, I tried out one of Alice's little suggestions and ran my fingers along his back at the top of his shoulders as I passed. I'll be damned if she wasn't right! The bulge in his pants was definitely larger than it had been a moment ago.

I brought him the papers to read, barely able to contain my excitement. I was anxious to see his expression when he realized I'd finally signed those stupid papers. However, at the rate he was reading and scrutinizing every sentence, it would take days for him to get to the end. And I didn't plan to wait days...for anything. "Are you going to read the whole thing?" I asked.

His eyes widened. "Do you not want me to read it?"

"No. I mean, I don't care. But look at the last page...the bottom of the last page."

Once I helped him to find the right place and Edward saw my signature, his whole face changed. Even his eyes were smiling.

"I faxed them over this morning." I added.

A look of shock wiped the smile from his eyes. "Bella, did you have anyone look these papers over before you signed them?"

"I didn't have to." I smirked.

"Bella. My father's attorney is the best. You need to be sure that things are done fairly."

I toyed with him a little. "Oh, things were not done fairly at all, but if it's what Emmett wants..."

"What?!" He exclaimed.

"Edward, he left me everything. All contents of the house, everything. All he asked for was enough of our savings to set him up in an apartment. He's not fighting me. He's walking away."

I threw my arms around him and what happened in the next few minutes gave me all the reassurance I needed. He wrapped his arms around my waist, his hands resting low on my hips. His face was leaned in dangerously close to mine, his hair dangling across my forehead, his breath on my lips. He pressed his entire body against me and it was all I could do not to shout "Hallelujah". I closed my eyes and anticipated his kiss. Edward's lips on mine were warm and soft and sweet and just…heaven. We stood there in my kitchen just kissing for a very long time. And then, I didn't want to kiss anymore. I wanted more.

Edward pulled back, gazing at me with a satisfied smirk. I chewed on my lip to keep from shouting "Make love to me...now...please!" And that's when Edward spoke.

"Umm, Bella, if you keep standing there like that..." I really didn't hear what he was saying. I had other things on my mind as a reached for his hand, leading him to the stairs.

Then he asked the most ridiculous question. "Are you sure?"

We'd been waiting for so damn long! Of course I was sure. Then, I decided to do as Alice suggested and to show him instead of using words. I was just glad I decided to keep the deadbolt locked as I pulled my shirt off over my head.

As I stood there before Edward, the cool air enveloping my newly exposed skin, he said "Bella, just because you signed the papers, doesn't mean..."

Oh, it had everything to do with signing those papers. I was liberated, free! I quickly unfastened my bra and just let it drop to the ground, more self-assured and certain this time The look on Edward's face was priceless.

"Not that I'm against this or anything..." _Christ, Edward. What does a girl have to do to get laid?_

I smirked as I unbuttoned my pants, let them fall to my ankles and slowly stepped out of them as I moved further up the stairs. It was my own personal emancipation…uninhibited…boundless.

This time, he followed me all the way to the master bedroom without saying another word. I hesitated as I opened the door to that room. I'd not been back in there since Emmett left. I'd been living out of the laundry room. I had even gotten Alice to assemble the bedding I had bought for the new bed when it arrived. It did look very different. The bed was smaller, the one Edward and I chose together. He suggested a full instead of a king—we slept so closely together anyway.

Like diving into the deep end of a pool, I dove into the room headfirst…straight for the bed. Edward in tow, I climbed upon the new pillow top mattress and knelt before him. We were now eye to eye, our want and lust and need radiating between us. Unable to wait another moment, my mouth lowered to his chest, the aromatic combination of clean and Edward overwhelming my senses.

Edward lifted my chin toward him and initiated a kiss like nothing I'd ever known; forceful and full of passion. Unbridled heat.

I couldn't wait any longer. Remembering how I'd felt that first night I'd found him in my doorway. And how he'd taken me from feeling embarrassed and alone to the point of such pleasure. Christ, this man could ignite an orgasm from across the room!

My fingers fumbled frantically with the buttons of his jeans as my mind recalled that second night he visited my room. _How much I had desired him and how handsome he'd looked in nothing but those thin white pants. His eyes burning me with seduction. His hands running the length of the bulge in his pants. And the moment his cock slid out the top of his waistband…fuck!_

I lowered the fabric between us until there was nothing to shroud his member but perhaps my breath. I wrapped my fingers around his shaft; long, smooth, completely erect....and completely different from what I had known. Slender, but longer....different, but nice. Very, very nice. Better. I wasn't sure what I was expecting or if I'd really been expecting anything...but I hadn't expected him to be so...so...long. Oh, the places he could go! I wonder for a second if perhaps he was adopted.

I enjoyed the feel of Edward's cock in my hand and the way his entire body reacted to my every move. I took a moment to familiarize myself with him; looking to see what made him respond, watching his very obvious pleasure.

Edward's lips moved to my neck, causing every hair on my body to stand on end. I was overcome with yearning! His hand slid to my breasts and I immediately felt the tightness there provoked by my arousal. Then, my breath caught with anticipation as his fingers began to journey down. The moment his long slender fingers first brushed the inside of my thigh, I eagerly craved his touch in an even more intimate place. It was as if he knew exactly what I needed, how much, and where. Oh, he had me SO turned on! By the time his fingers reached that place between my legs, the place where I ached for him, I was beyond ready. But, oh, was it worth waiting for! He slid his hand inside my panties, palming my mound before slowly removing the garment. He returned, stroking his fingers through the short curls there, running his thumb across my clit--softly, perfectly-- rousing a moan to leave my lips. When his fingers trailed across my entrance, I was overcome with desire. My hips thrust toward him, instinctively. Edward leaned in, his hair tickling my chest, as he lowered me onto the bed.

My head was spinning with thoughts of what was to come. This was it! Edward and I were finally going to be together. And **I** was finally going to really make love.

"Bella, I want you to just lie back and relax." Edward's mouth turned up a bit on one side as he smirked. "I have dreamt of this day for so very long. You are even more beautiful than I had fantasized lying here...nude...for me. I plan to show you exactly how much I love you...every single part of you."

He began by sucking and kissing the tips if each of my fingers, before placing tiny pecks on the palms of my hands and moving up the insides of my arms. When he reached my shoulders I could feel the warmth of his breath on my neck, causing me to shiver with anticipation, as warm wet lips feathered along jaw.. When he reached my face, he very gently pressed his lips to each of my eyelids, the tip of my nose, my chin. He kissed me softly on the mouth, sucking my bottom lip gently until I parted them. He very slowly, very seductively showed me exactly how talented his tongue could be. And much to my delight, he then began kissing his way down my body.

When he reached my navel, Edward blew softly into it, again causing my skin to pucker. He kissed his way down my belly, turning slightly to work his way down each thigh, spending a bit of time at the crook behind each knee, before moving to my feet. Edward gently massaged each foot, intermittently placing kisses on the arch of each. Then, he gazed into my eyes as he slowly crawled his way back up to me, between my legs. Edward focused on my most tender places until..._oh my god_...I had never known such pleasure. He nibbled and sucked and kissed until I my world started to spin. Then he gently moved up toward me, hovering above me.

"Bella Swan, may I make love to you?"

Unable to find my voice, I mouthed the word "yes" and nodded, blinking back a few tears.

Edward tenderly leaned his cheek to mine, nuzzling against me a bit as he slid inside me. He felt so...so...right. Not too fast, not too slow...not too..."uhhh" I gasped as he reached a place nothing had ever touched before. He froze, until I smiled and kissed his lips. _Oh, don't stop now! _Then, Edward very cautiously began moving ...slowly ... gracefully...rhythmically. I copied his rhythm and we moved together, seamlessly. It was blissful. Gradually...increasingly...my pleasure built. His breath on my neck, sweet words whispered in my ear, his eyes...GOD his eyes! I had never been swirling in such overwhelming fulfillment. Then, just when I thought it couldn't feel any better, his pace quickened; the sensation intensifying. "Mmm...uh...gah...oh...Edwaaaaaard!"

It was as though I was no longer there, in that bed. He had taken me to a completely different realm. And it was absofuckinglutely amazing!

I watched, coming down from my own amazing orgasm, as his eyes began to hood, lust taking over. His rhythm picked up, my body moving with him...until...until...until I saw his head lean back...his eyes rolled...his whole body stiffened...his length buried deep between my thighs...and he moaned deep in his throat as I felt his warmth spill inside me. Ohmygod! It began like butterflies in my stomach, then the pleasure rapidly increased, until a second round of complete gratification rolled through me. It wasn't as intense as before, but it was still amazing and wonderful.

Edward collapsed, his head on my chest. I held him, stroking the damp strands from his face.

Once we each stopped trembling, our lips met. Edward repositioned himself next to me and I snuggled my head into his shoulder, draping a leg across his body. I closed my eyes, reveling in the moment. I was exhausted and sated, contented and...happy. I was truly happy for the first time in a very long time. I loved being that close to Edward, my head on his shoulder, my fingers toying with the hair on his chest. I just laid there with my eyes closed, enjoying the feel and the smell and the fucking wonderfulness of being with Edward Cullen. We stayed like that for quite some time, only the sound of our breathing filled the silence. Then, he kissed the top of my head softly and whispered "I will always love you Bella Swan, I just hope that someday you'll feel the same."

He must have thought I was asleep, based on the way his entire body jerked the moment I spoke.

"Oh Edward, this may sound crazy, but...I do! I know I do. And I've never been more certain of anything."

I could feel him press his lips to the top of my head, sighing deeply. Tightening his embrace.

I placed a kiss in the center of his chest, tracing my finger around it in the shape of a heart.

That's when he whispered in my ear "Forever."

And that sounded exactly right to me.

~*~teacupsNmints

**Wow! I have never perseverated over a chapter like I did this one. This chapter is for every reader who stuck with me as far back as May, often waiting more than a month for an update. It is for every reader who left a review, the grease that oils a writer's wheel. It is for every reader who followed me on Twitter, filling my evenings with laughter, sarcasm and RPatz!**

**Thank you!**

**Watch for the prologue. The first will be posted through Other Side of the Door in Edward's POV and will take place 2 years later. That will be followed by a 2nd prologue posted through Open Door Policy in Bella's POV taking place 2 years after that.**

**Now, please---run and review. Reviewers get to snuggle with Edward once Bella gets up to go to the bathroom!**


	12. Chapter 12

**Disclaimer: Twilight belongs to Stephenie Meyer.**

**This is the first of two Epi's-as promised. Epi #2 will be listed under "Other Side of the Door" so be sure to have that one on alert, too. If you have not read that story yet, you may wish to if you are at all interested in knowing what has been going on inside Edward's head. ( And who doesn't want to know THAT!) **

**Thanks to everyone who has shown their support for me and my writing. I was very much a newbie when I first wrote this as a one-shot for the Forbidden Affairs contest. Your kind words helped to renew a long forgotten passion and restored my faith in myself. **

**The most sincere of thanks to emilydmamaof3-our times in the G-Docs are some of my favorites! You get Emmett's cape, bb! Muah!**

I watched through the window as Esme and Carlisle got out of the car. It was hard to believe that three whole years had passed since that monumentally emotional night. We had all confessed our feelings: Emmett, Edward and I. And Carlisle and Esme supported each of us for the most part. Esme simply wanted her boys happy...and me too, I think. Carlisle had a bit more trouble swallowing it all. Apparently he had certain ideas about brotherhood and loyalty that his boys didn't share. But eventually, as our lives together unfolded and smoothed, so did Carlisle's slightly ruffled feathers.

And life continued on. We did family holidays a day early at our home with Esme and Carlisle. I assumed they met with Emmett and Rosalie, as well, separately from us. They never really talked about them in the beginning, making sure the stories of our lives never crossed. They made it so things were never awkward or forced, but very natural. I knew it was mostly Esme who was responsible for the ease of our relationship and I appreciated that.

They're still together, Emmett and Rose. At first, I'd hoped she would be sensible and dump him. But, she never did. In time I accepted that they were just meant to be. I actually took it better than they all expected when Rosalie became pregnant with little Janie. Oh, it stung. But, I just had to remind myself that creating a child with Emmett would only have made things more difficult in the long run. I accepted that it wasn't Emmett I was meant to create a life with and I looked forward to the day I'd see a little boy or girl running around with Edward's eyes and my smile. Plus, Janie adored her Aunt Bella. Even though Edward and I weren't officially married yet, that's what Esme had her call me. I didn't know what Emmett thought about that. I never really saw _him_. There was no reason. Edward and I spent Janie's first year spoiling her rotten on Saturdays at her grandma's house while her parents took a day to themselves. I saw Rosalie occasionally. Our relationship was good. Not really even awkward. I guess you could almost call us friends. We'd never be like sisters though. It was just too strange for that.

I did have to hand it to Rose. I admired her strong will. She still refused to marry the father of her little girl, even though I'd heard he begs. They lived together, of course. Emmett had moved in around 4 months after we split. I don't think our divorce was even final yet. But I couldn't talk. Edward had never moved out of the home I had shared with his brother. Well, not until we sold it a year ago.

That's when we ended up here. Cambridge. We followed Alice and Jasper up about a year and a half after they had flown here on vacation.

"We're only looking around; checking out a few pubs. We'll see you again before you know it."

I remembered Alice at the airport in her pink sweater and floral scarf, looking back through her white framed sunglasses and shouting those words back to me. They were the last words she'd speak in the states to date...and that was two and a half years ago. They found the perfect little pub right on King Street. It was owned by a gentleman Jasper had been corresponding with on-line for several months. He was an elderly fellow who hated to give up the pub. But his wife had passed on months before and he could no longer handle the long hours and upkeep all by himself. Jasper became co-owner of _Bob's Pub_ for a very reasonable price and my cousin extended her vacation indefinitely. About a year later the old fellow passed on, leaving Jasper full owner. Jasper took the loss of his friend very hard. Alice said he fell into a sort of depression about it. That's just how Jasper was-he didn't know a stranger and his friends were his family.

So, after six months of lengthy phone conversations between Alice and I, Edward and Jasper-and several trips to Forks National Bank, Edward and I found ourselves the new co-owners of a soon to be renamed pub in England. We sold the house quickly-as Emmett and Rosalie were looking to expand, especially with another child on the way. It seemed strange to me that they would want to raise their family in that home; but if Rosalie didn't mind, who was I to say anything. And they were kind enough to allow us to remain there until we settled all our affairs since Rosalie had a few months left on her lease. I wanted to finish out the school year, and we had to wait several weeks for my passport to come in the mail. Once it arrived, we booked our one-way tickets to Cambridge on British Airways.

The day we left Forks was full of both sorrow and excitement. We were seen off by Esme and Carlisle, of course. They drove us to the airport. And we were surprised to see an obviously pregnant Rosalie and little Janie there to see us off. Emmett was there too, though he stayed in the shadows. I met his eyes just once as I left for the boarding area. He looked shocked at first. But then he smiled and nodded, mouthing the words "Good Luck." I had always dreaded a moment like that with him, when our eyes would meet across a room filled with our family; forced and awkward. But that moment at the airport was the perfect ending to a very difficult albeit necessary chapter in my life.

Edward and I packed up everything we'd wished to take with us; shipping several boxes ahead. Alice was such a doll. She unpacked some of our boxes for us. She set us up with all the essentials; flatware and dishes, cleaning supplies and hangers. She even stocked our fridge. Jasper somehow acquired a mattress for us to use until we had the chance to shop for one, though I had to avoid thinking about the possibilities of where it came from. And they did it all so that our apartment would be fairly livable when we arrived.

We acquired the apartment next to Alice and Jasper's, above the pub. It was tiny, but convenient. Edward worked with Jasper all day, learning the "lay of the land". Alice insisted on helping me decorate. Or, rather, she told me what to do to make my new home adorable and I did it. We painted, stenciled, wallpapered and faux-finished until my little cubby-hole looked like something right out of Better Homes and Gardens. I'm not sure Edward even noticed, at first. He was so exhausted after a day at the pub. It seemed Bob had owned the place for so long that he'd begun to hoard things in the basement. So, the boys sorted, hauled, cleaned and reorganized all day. Then, they did their best to get to know the longtime patrons who were vocally missing the previous owner.

But Edward can be quite charming and Whitlost is every bit, if not more, entertaining. And anyone not won over by them, fell victim to Alice's own personal brand of appeal. I really enjoyed all the early evenings in the pub before I began teaching in a small private school. Somehow, I'd landed a US Studies elective course filled with upper-classmen. It was very new for me, having taught young children in the states, but it was a welcome change. Actually, I loved it. It was only part-time, but it more than subsidized our income. We really didn't need much.

Edward began working in the bar full-time with Jasper. The expenditures outweighed the profits for the first year. Luckily we hadn't any rent. But, once all the repairs had been made and Alice did a slight remodel, we slowly climbed out of the red. Thank goodness we were in a good location and business was always hopping. They actually became like our family, the clientele. Mrs. Laurent often brought home cooked meals to share. Mr. Black helped Edward with some electrical repairs. And the James family had insisted we close the pub and celebrate Christmas at their home.

Much to our surprise, our new extended family supported us in our decision to rename the pub since there wasn't a Bob among us. They even had suggestions to make. But Edward and Jasper ultimately agreed upon "Lost and Found" and it just seemed to fit. We each had come to England a little lost and each of us found our lives full of good friends and loyal family.

Undoubtedly, they would all be sitting downstairs waiting for me when I could finally pull myself away from this window. Edward would be there, as would Jasper. There was no telling where Alice might be at any given moment. The past 6 months had kept her very busy. What with the shopping and the decorating. I loved my cousin, but she could be completely infuriating. Edward let it slip one day that I had gone shopping without her and Alice scoured every shop in town until she caught up with me. Although on that particular day she actually agreed with my choice. Thankfully, because I was heart set.

I watched as a delivery truck arrived. It was the third one of the day. Boxes and bundles unloaded and carried in through the backdoor of the pub below. When a tiny blur in pink nearly knocked one of the workmen over as she whizzed toward the door, I knew Alice would be racing into my apartment at any moment.

I took one last deep breath, enjoying the calm quiet while it lasted. I looked at my reflection in the glass, the familiar eyes that looked back at me. Eyes so sure, eyes that had seen their fair share of mistakes. I winked at myself in the glass, giggling as my door flew open.

"Oh my Goddd!" I didn't think I'd ever make it." My cousin blurted.

"Alice, were you driving on the wrong side of the road again?" I laughed.

"No! Well, not the whole time." She rolled her eyes, smiling mischievously before scowling again. "Traffic was ridiculously slow. I was ready to get out and push the car in front of me. Hell, it would've been faster!"

I smiled at my cousin. She could be abrupt and coarse at times, sometimes even a bit cruel. But I knew she was really a softie on the inside, especially where her family was concerned, and that meant the world to me.

"Thank god I got here in time to do your make-up!"

"I already did my make-up." I said.

"Oh c'mon, humor me." She said. "This is a big night for you."

Just as she probably could have predicted, I allowed Alice to paint my face. I was certain I wouldn't even recognize myself afterward but, much to my surprise, her work was understated and pretty.

"Wow." I said, looking into the ornate gold framed mirror she held before me. "I actually like it."

"If you like that, wait til I get hold of that hair..."

"You know how I feel about my hair." I reminded her. She and I had already discussed it. "I wore my hair up last time. I want it down today.

My cousin whined until I was tempted to give in just to quiet her when we were both startled by a knock on the door. Quick as a flash, Alice was there. "Male or female?"

"Male" answered a very familiar voice I hadn't heard in a while. My stomach turned in knots.

"Nope, sorry. This is a non-male zone. No men allowed."

"Mary Alice Brandon, you have not changed since you made your first sounds in my delivery room all those years ago. Your bark has always been worse than your bite. Now open this door!"

"Okay, but let's keep that bark/ bite thing our little secret." Alice said as she embraced Carlisle.

"Your secret's safe with me." Carlisle pretended to zip and lock his lips.

Alice smiled back at him. "Well, I'm sure you didn't come up here to talk to me." Then she shot me a reassuring glance. "So I'll be right outside."

As I watched the door close behind my cousin, I could feel my heart beat faster. Carlisle and I hadn't shared many words since Emmett had moved out of our home. I suddenly felt very small, very young; like a child. I looked up at him with wide eyes, completely uncertain of what he could possibly wish to say to me without Esme here too.

"You are looking lovely, Bella." He said, looking only at my shoes.

My mouth was suddenly very dry. I licked at my lips, sure to hear it from Alice later as she reapplied my gloss. "Thanks" I squeaked.

Carlisle moved across the room to our tiny kitchen. He filled a glass with ice and poured water from the pitcher I always kept in the fridge.

He sat beside me as he held out the glass. "Bella, you know I've always been very fond of you."

_Here it comes_, I thought. _He's finally going to tell me to leave his family alone. _

Carlisle cleared his throat before continuing in the emotionless monotone I'd grown familiar with over the years. "I've always considered you like a daughter."

I closed my eyes, bracing myself for the "but".

"And I would be very honored if you'd allow me to escort you down the stairs today. I know it is not my place to give you away at your wedding, but in the absence of your father..."

"Yes." I shouted as I practically knocked him over, hugging him tightly; the tears exploding from my eyes and making tracks down my cheeks. I had waited for months for some sort of sign that he didn't hate me. My second dad, the one who taught me to change a tire; the one I'd always known I could count on even if we were stranded on the side of the road at 2 o'clock in the morning, hours and hours from home. The one to be there for me when the person who should've been...wasn't. Leave it to Carlisle to come through just when I needed him most.

Alice bounded back in the door, giggling and clapping and throwing her arms around both Carlisle and I. "Sorry." She laughed, as she immediately began dabbing at my cheeks. "I may have pressed my ear to the door just a little."

She'd no sooner dried my tears when we heard the music begin downstairs. "It's time!" Alice beamed.

All at once I wasn't sure how I'd ever manage to stand on the strands of spaghetti my legs had suddenly become, much less make it all the way down the stairs. It's not like I hadn't done it before. I wasn't even wearing an "official" wedding gown this time, just a pretty creme dress leftover from England's version of "The Prom".

Perhaps Carlisle noticed my sudden loss of color, or it could have been all the trembling limbs. He calmly linked his arm in mine and wrapped his arm around my back supporting most of my weight.

"I happen to know there's a pretty great guy very eager to see you waiting just at the bottom of those stairs." he said offering that comforting smile I'd grown to count on from the patriarch of the only family I'd known for years. "Think you can make it?" He winked.

I nodded, focusing on my feet, willing them to _pleeeease_ do what they were supposed to. I stood with Carlisle, as Alice made easy footwork of her entrance.

My turn. All at once, the same staircase I traveled at least ten times a day seemed to have become a million miles long and I felt as if every bit of air left the room.

"Let's just take it one step at a time." My soon-to-be Father-in-law (again) smiled.

I held on tightly to Carlisle's reassuring embrace and did exactly as he said. By the time my hands stopped trembling and my heart stopped pounding he had guided me to the bottom of the staircase.

That's when I saw it. The look on Edward's face. He couldn't have smiled any wider. And his eyes full of tears. But he didn't look afraid. Not at all. He looked certain. And that made me even more certain, too.

As Carlisle placed my hand in Edward's, the love of my life leaned to my ear and said "I have loved you for as long as I can remember, but I do not recall you ever looking as lovely as you do today. I cannot wait to call you my wife."

The minister said his words, but all I could think about was the journey Edward and I had taken to get to where we were standing at that very moment. Most of it was a blur. Much of it like a fairy tale. There were also parts of our journey I would never be proud of. But I would not change one thing for fear of changing something that, to me, was absolutely perfect.

I listened as Edward repeated after the minister; promising to love honor and cherish me for as long as we both shall live. When it was my turn, I was careful to say everything just right. Not even the tears that poured down my new husband's cheeks could distract me. We exchanged the rings we had chosen together, only after Jasper pretended to have lost them. Edward leaned forward and kissed my hand after sliding the ring onto my finger. Finally, the minister pronounced us husband and wife, prompting Edward to kiss his bride. Edward wrapped his arms around me, placing gentle kisses all over my face before finding his way to my lips. We held on to one another for dear life, pressing our lips together until our salty tears combined.

"I love you so much." I told him, my breath a whisper on his cheek.

"Thank you, Bella, so much. You have made me the happiest man alive." He said in return, kissing me more deeply this time.

I looked around at all the people I loved so dearly: Alice, Jasper, Esme and Carlisle, and our new family from the pub. Then I looked back to my new husband and I felt so incredibly blessed. I knew how special it was to have gotten a second chance at my "Happily Ever After." And I couldn't wait to find out what sort of adventures our new life together would bring.

**::: Tune in Next Time for "Other Side of the Door" (ODP) Epi #2 :::**


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